Drinking Alcohol taught me how to fly
Then it took away the sky....

Saturday, February 26, 2011

DIMENSION SO DEEP

THIS may be a re-post: not certain. 
What I AM certain is that this may be 

THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT 
OF MY LIFE


Actually, this should be a category, with separate files spanning years, because I have experienced so MANY extraordinarily embarrassing events .  This following comes to mind tonight.  


During the years 1991-1995 I drove a van for Transportation Disadvantaged in Naples, Florida.  The company was called Community Transportation, or "CT".  


In my pocket I kept with me at all times a compact digital voice recorder for keeping notes to myself since I had so many "great"--Ha! thoughts during a work day, thoughts which would all but evaporate by the time I got home.  I had no time to stop and write notes to myself.

During one trip my load of passengers were retarded people coming home from work.  We had every day such a wonderful time of it, joking, laughing, and making fun of each other, how we talk, behave, etc. They loved it and I did also


I was so spiritually overcome with the happenings of the hour, I grabbed my handheld to record memories of the moment, and said some of--for me--the most beautiful expressions of faith and love.  

I spoke to relatives who had long been buried, I spoke to saints, to Mary, the Mother of God...and to Jesus.  I told them all of my gratitude, for the many gifts, in my life, especially that gift of sobriety.  I asked God to bless my handicapped passengers, my family, my fellow drivers, and my superiors at work.  And I praised our Lord for the peace, serenity and SOBRIETY He gave me, so that I might help those who still suffer from whatever illnesses.  And I made a promise to do better, to seek His will in all matters,  and asked for His help to carry out His work.  

As I reached to place the digital recorder back into my pocket, I felt 'IT'.  The recorder had been in my pocket the whole time. (Well, what am I holding in my hand, into WHAT had I been talking?)...N E X T : 


Earlier, I had inadvertently grabbed the company two-way radio microphone, and had been sending my ultra private thoughts out over the air!  EVERYTHING I'd said had been broadcast to the base office, overheard by the dispatcher, by my boss and all the office staff, and by ALL the drivers and ALL the passengers on ALL the buses that afternoon.

At the end of my shift, no one said a word about the incident.  Everyone behaved normally toward me, so that I got to thinking, well, maybe I had not pressed the transmitting button.  Maybe nobody heard a thing of my secret,  but verbal, soul-thinking.  Several days went by, and, you know, I was allowing myself to forget the whole episode.  


Then, one early morning drivers were doing our pre-trip inspections, and collecting our manifests for the day. One driver--one of the few who had always been friendly towards me--approached and said, "What the hell was that all about, the other day?  You were talking on the radio for a *long, long* time, and made no sense whatever. At least 50 employees, bosses, and the passengers of 14 buses all over town, were trying to catch every word."

Everyone has been wondering "...did the Oh!--SO-sober A.A. guy finally start drinking ? Were you hallucinating? On drugs--or WHAT?"
 

To this day I can bring up those spiritual minutes, then immediately re-feel the horrible discovery and shock of terror.

Guess I'll finish this off with...AMEN!


NOTE: Yesterday, 16 years after, a driver 'pushing' a concrete mixer asked me, "Do you remember that time...." So it became today's post in Fourth Dimension!

12 comments:

  1. smiles. hey maybe a few got what they needed...lol

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  2. The impact we have on people!! I agree with Brian. Someone needed to hear that message.

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  3. i presume that was highest divine interchange..smiles...

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  4. Hi Steve...I was so pleased to see you stop by my blog for a visit. I really appreciated you leaving me a wonderful message too. Thank you.

    Now, as I read your post....I really don't think you should've been so embarrassed. You made the whole staff on their toes and most of their passengers. You probably opened their eyes to a whole new world...not making them wonder about YOU.

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  5. :)
    You always amaze me with your stories Steve!
    Hugs

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  6. Haha, these moments are so much worse for us than for them. They forgot about it the next day. lol Amazing how long we remember them, isn't it? We remember the negative for far too long and forget the positive way too quickly. Sometimes human nature is not to our advantage. ;-)

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  7. My first job working in The Valley we had 2 radios. A company 2 way and a CB to talk to the scale. There was an attractive woman working in the scale and the guys were teasing me on the company radio about her. I started praising her, asking if she was married and how nice I thought she was, unaware that I had the CB mike in my hand.

    It all turned out good though.

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  8. Everything happens for a reason, maybe you touched someone that day that otherwise wouldn't have felt loved.

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  9. JUST JANE!
    Anyone ever call you "Smilin' Jane"? I love smiles. I love 'happy'. Most of all, I love PEACE! Thank you!

    BRIAN!
    Well, I was not smiling that day--you know, FEAR, PRIDE, those two main bad guys!

    MAGPIE!
    You both may be right! That day, it would have been hard to convince ME, that God was at work. I WAS sober, too. But now we all know, God is ALWAYS working, and we simply cooperate.

    CLAUDIA!
    The highest divine Interchange: Exit 83 on I-ME.

    HOOTIN' ANNIE!
    It warms me to realize that even when we cannot visit everyone so regularly, we are still friends, and the happiness is even greater, when there has been absence. (Hey, I LIKE that line...could make a blog post based on that--grin!

    DULCE!
    Thank you. There are now TWO of you to amaze, Ms Duality--grin! G'day! (Isn't that Aussie-speak?) Good Day to you.
    PEACE! Hugs....

    TRACEY!
    Girl, I LOVE to learn especially here, and YOU are one of those who have lessons to reveal. Drop the negative, FEED on the positive...Good! PEACE!!!

    ANDREW!
    Amazing! Your similar story serves to validate my own. What a coincidence! I don't recall hearing that from you. (Of course, we talk every day.Yeah...RIGHT!)

    JEREMY!
    Girl! You made me realize that we DO 'touch' others, when we install these 12 Steps into our daily lives. No way NOT to help Peeps along the way, unless we become reclusive...and maybe in my case that would be even MORE help to others--grin!

    Thank you a LOT for that point of view, similar to Brian and several other commenters. Comments are SO important to the writer, and--since I read comments on lots of other blogs, I am helped by those who DO take a moment to jot their ideas.
    PEACE!

    KRISTIN!
    We all have some 'classic' stories which only can happen to us crazy drunks, whether certified or not! Thank for coming over...
    Love and PEACE!

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  10. amen and thanks for the hysterics!!! i needed that :)

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