On abstinence--A Piece of my Story
Regarding stopping the daily booze habit: Sure I drank, didn't everyone? And I could stop, whenever I wished. In fact I stopped many times each day--I'd even put the lid back on the bottle. (How I loved the contents of those beautifully labeled bottles!) Stopping drinking was simply easy. The problem was to 'stay' stopped. That I would not, could not do.
Sure, I stopped drinking for a day, one time a whole week--well, 6 days and 4 hours, does Saturday count?--grin! What does it prove, one day, one week, a month? Only that I did not drink. This next is not documented--but most of my thinking during those 'dry' days was about drinking....
and how my body craved it (physical compulsion)....
and how my mind had been telling me, "What a mistake, to stop drinking--who cares whether I drink or not?" "I really REALLY N E E D it!" (Mental obsession.) As a result, I always went back to my alcohol, couple(?) beers during the day/afternoon, wine with dinner yada-yada. Hey, EVERYONE does it.
And here is the punch line, which should (but unfortunately does not) tell me I have a problem:
I have to have it to be sociable, to have fun, to join with others in conversation, joking, to be relaxed, to feel good. Ahhhhh! To feel good. After all, why else do I drink, but that I like the effect produced by drug alcohol?
No human power, no earthly power--certainly not ME!--could relieve me of this daily habit. This habit which more and more often led me to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. I am not a weak person, but alcohol had beat me.
More on how I broke the habit, and 'stayed' sober...next time, maybe a week or so. WARNING: I may be using the "God" word...or "Higher Power"!
BEFORE YOU GO AWAY---Just wanted to tell y'all I attended today my first lecture/class titled "An Introduction to Buddhism". Just felt pulled into it as by a magnet, there are five classes meeting Monday mornings, and I'm going back! Loved it! After learning a little, I'll blog my perspectives as a 77-year-old student--who takes notes so fast I cannot read them--grin! Y'all COME BACK!
IMAGE: Absolut_Spring_by_Kat_Art
in Deviant Art
in Deviant Art
