Drinking Alcohol taught me how to fly
Then it took away the sky....

Tuesday, July 31, 2012


A song loved since my earliest memory...

Beautiful Dreamer


Beautiful dreamer,
Wake unto me
Starlight and dewdrops
Are awaiting thee

Sounds of the rude world

Heard in the day
Led by the moonlight
Have all passed away

Beautiful dreamer,

Queen of my song
List' while I woo thee
With soft melody

Gone are the cares of

Life's busy throng

Words and Music By: Stephen C. Foster
Copyright Unknown




This, my dream

Thoughts, when

they are at peace
Need not words
nor speech.

Our eyes will tell

heaven and earth
of love and worth

...our tale

This dream, mine own
is of two 
such loves who
become as ONE.

and yes, even the Universe
as one Gigantic Entity.
With you and me
known will be
Its Name.


Published for dVerse

Wednesday, July 25, 2012


Did not realize how strongly addicted I am to this computer.
Not only blogging, but downloading, 
uploading, FB, chat, email, Texting, 
installing and trying out things,
building (learning how) a Website
Until my computer has been down for couple days
Will try to catch up with all my Peeps!!! 


Are you 'out there'
or rather, are you here?
And if you are so near
why is it not such
that I'm feeling your touch?

My body, mind, heart, soul, yearn.
Which, oh! which way do I turn?
The awfulness is I do not know
for what, where, when, or who.

Maybe it is simply God I seek?
Or is His Will I fear more
to be shown...so to view?
Possible it is God--in You?
keeping me meek, not weak.

Been given power so clearly
dearly lacking--
strength to conquer what
was found wanting,

Therein lives unknown and known..
what sincerely I think when alone.

With one or the other,
even sweeter...er,
someone yet else,
my whole life-focus
can change
to focus-less

Former obligations
now a way-of-life
whether goodness
or epitome
of selfishness.

So I continue to beat on myself.
Why, when already desolate?
Private version of 'assolvo me'?
Time would nigh dissolve me,
surrounded by dreaded knell,
Adagio-droning bell
Every puzzle,
missing spaces
sprinkled among seen
highlight unseen.

Oh please let me be
one who sees that
You are not 'out there'...
rather you are here.
And I love you!

(Re-worked poem
another Blog of mine
from 2010)

Posted for d'Verse Poets Pub
- OpenLinkNight - Week #54
Line up every Tuesday, 3 pm EDT.

Searching for by dj fede888
in Deviant Art

Friday, July 20, 2012


Oh dontcha worry, worry me.
dontcha hurry, hurry me.
Who cares what time it is
when thee climate is
warm as the tropical seeeea..?

--1958 Movie "Windjammer"

Photo by Steve E

The truth was certain as morning light.
Girl was sharing her first days in sobriety.
So many worries,
so many hurries,
she thought never bright to ever see.

Just been fired
oh! so tired
deeply mired in
low self-esteem....

Sponsor-Peep said, "Simmer down, Babe.
You needn't worry no more.
Give all your worrying over to
me, your sponsor, Lenore.
Stay sober Girl. Stop that head-whirl."

Following is a quote (no 'poeticizing'),
as in "She then told us..."
"So I went home, and my drunk boyfriend
asked me wasn't I worried with no job?
I told him, 'NO! Lenore is worrying about that!'"


It is sometimes this way with God and me.
Asking Him to take my problems for a day, or even
a few hours. I try to reverently, lovingly say aloud
His Sweet Holy Name over and over.

At once!--true, Peeps--I am gifted with semblances
of serenity, peace, then joy! When my body and mind
are settled, I take back my **issues** (hate that word!)
and in a different light they seem. 
Telling you this happens is easy. 
Challenge is for you to try it also. 
May not work for everyone. 
But isn't it better than wallowing in the mire?

Friday July 20, 2012

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

A Soliloquy

PHOTO by Bill S, Naples FL


Upon moving to Naples Florida 47 years ago, age 32, I was literally enthralled with EVERYTHING from weeds to winged creatures, crawlers to crayfish, peaceful sunny days (300 each year!) to hurricanes.

Then happened a time period of raising a family, working two jobs, plus playing violin--talk about stress! During these years I began to take for granted everything for which we'd stopped and stayed.

(Except the seven Package Liquor Stores--one for each day of the week! Heaven on earth...Really!) Actually, my wife (now deceased) and I were just passing through, stopped--and stayed, early 1965.

We boated, fished, swam naked, explored uninhabited beaches, but it was all, like, so dull, boring--always praying that tomorrow would be better. Reality would have us wonder, "What could be better?" But reality had escaped our lives.  In truth, we had escaped reality in a bottle.

Finally, tomorrow is here. And better it is, so much so. Only changes I would have are selfish ones. God will one day say either "Yes", "No", or "maybe, if you're good boy", HA! (Boy!) I enjoy to be known how happy I am to be sober (actually, I shout it from the rooftops!), see others stop drinking and stay sober, and have more friends in sobriety than I'd ever imagined. A simple way of life, working on some self-defects, helping others to find their way in life. Lot of our work as alcoholics is one-on-one sharing with another. Others are always helping me also.

This new life--a busy one to be sure--leads to less stress (sometimes none?) very little if any anxiety, and a spectacular freedom known only to a few--because I talk to lot of Peeps who are not free. I was imprisoned by my own soul.

All my life the only word I knew was "Yes!" Lately I've learned of another word, "No!" What Freedom....

I am honored to be allowed to play violin at mass almost every week--this does not make me a holy Peep, but I can and do LOVE it--grin!

Friends I love, in very special ways, finding joy in time spent together. Some live far away. It is difficult to realize that at the end, my wish bucket will not be empty. But somehow I believe that God's wishes will survive, and provide us all with an eternity which--if we knew what really it was like--would kill us.

Steve E

Monday, July 16, 2012


Moon, forming triangle with 
Venus (below) and Jupiter (atop)

Saturday morning I was not sure if coming or going. 
In this sky-photo is the moon--flying at half-mast--
a brightest dammm 'Bethlehem-type' girl-star (planet) below.
Also at triangle's apex a very shiny guy above .

Significant to me--coming or going--grin!--my camera
caught triumvirate (my name) in the EAST, just after
first light. With the sun chasing moon and stars,
I stood facing east, chasing mosquitoes
from my face, while shooting this picture...
from my own front yard!

to know which way is 'up' in dark
follow sweetest song of tiny lark

coming, going
arriving, leaving,
here and there

this our capability:
rush around
having fun
while our sun
--unlike us--
rolls around
heavenly instability.

 there rose at morning
moon in the east?
time for a feast,
supper now in morning
breakfast at night.

feel this fragility?
nothing seems right
maybe my senility
seeing sight of delight
in morning dark

love and peace

Congratulations on one most beautiful, 
spiritually giving YEAR of Poet Peeps
at dVerse Poets Pub
You all have created an 
empty spot in my 'wish-bucket'

Thursday, July 12, 2012



 My AA District 20 is hosting a South Florida 
Area Assembly of 500-700 Peeps from
South Florida. I'm one of 40 "Greeters", 
more excited about this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, 
than anything the past 38 years!

(Shhh! I even get to 'chair' an Early Bird AA meeting
Saturday at 7 AM.) That means it might be lonely.
I will report to you Peeps how that went.
So maybe I can fake a little humility--grin!

Following note written to good friend, on a whim.
Called inspiration...or name it
"Let sleeping pigeons snore!"
Steve does what Steve does--grin!


sam, i pray...in every way, that you OK!
sometimes when it rain
i drop through pipe-drain
making--i tell you--a smelly day

rather than isolate or pout
i know now there's a way out
which comes not through steeple,
but from God, through people.

planted in me is that seed
which grows, with God-Feed,
into unique weed or reed...
always have just what i need.

volunteer daily now, and try
to be the greatest greeter:
no more sit waiting. Now out I cry 
"come with me, and meet Her--

the God of my understanding.
come now, vow with purpose
to be of maximum service
arrive where i've made landing

in universe of unknown peace,
happiness and JOY (no matter what!)
with no payment nor lease, ever--but
of maximum service, so being..."

in this land
of God and man

'...do not be discouraged.
we are not saints,
but are willing to grow
along spiritual lines..."
--ref: page 60, book "Alcoholics Anonymous"

Monday, July 9, 2012


It IS OLN--Open Link Night Week #52
Post your favorite poem or whatever, and 
anytime after 3 PM Tuesday, come HERE
to dVerse Poets Pub, follow directions



Six nights each week, for seven years, 
I worked from 11 PM--7 AM 
cleaning a McDonald's store, alone.

Yes, Peeps, I played violin at night, 
then rapidly changed 'costumes' to 
scrape,  sweep, mop and breathe 
that stale death-odor, grease.

Asleep during the day, 
I dreamed for years this dream--
that the 'secret of the Universe' 
is grease. EVERYTHING was, 
basically...fat and grease. 
And so this poem was born:

Sorry, store is closed
25 Billion sold
place so old
full of mold

Grease is the name
Greasless, the aim

Mop, flop, slop, flop, not Whopp(er)

Dark night after dark night
until morn bright with light

Oil, Boil, Bubble
Yes...toil and trouble--grin!

Soapy, rinsy,
Swishy around...
circle, push, floors clean
aluminum shining to sheen

Windows, why so many?
What? For Vista?
Bring outside in!
Tape up for wind...

Grease everywhere
thick by inches
running a'kittle
warm and soft, or
hard and brittle

 Neons blinking,
old man thinking:
 Is God Grease?
Is Universe
after it cease...

Secret of life
not child, not wife
but warm runny fat
scooped into warm vat

Morning Prayer to Grease:

Dear Fatty Renderings

have mercy on obese,
our sleazy, greasy layers
under foot in store,
under skin and more.
I pray this for
all our Peeps and me.


Saturday, July 7, 2012

(sigh!) A REVERIE

SomeOne told me
"Everything you need to know
you learned in kindergarten."

Everything I learned 
in kindergarten...
I forgot!

WAIT! I remember! There
I kissed my first--no, 
second girl...lovely hair!

I had slept with one older
--she was eight--I told her
we  were too young

Too young for what?
Neither knew.
We just blew

into each others ear
until we could not hear.
All wet in there.

Hot night
Wet night
Sweat night
Didn't DO anything...

Well, we kissed,
hissed, ummm
and  missed.

Never let me say
I'd not live it again
Because, my friend

Ever have I lived such
sweeter life. If only better
I might remember

my kindergarten days. WOW!
And between then and now:
drunked, drugged,
eons, it seems, of
that. Past is past,
so "Live and Love"

PEACE to you, Peeps.
My motto:  
BE JOYFUL with me!


Friday, July 6, 2012


 Early this morning I had asked a guy who was celebrating his birthday # 80, what he does all day. "Oh...I sleep, watch TV, eat, read the paper, take a shower, go to bed."

So I determined to keep a record of my own activities this Friday morning July 6, 2012. Thank you for reading.


Up at 5:30 AM, to do the morning stuff--you'll have to trust me here--grin!--which includes meditation and prayer. Participation at 7 AM in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous is important to me. This is one of the places we gather daily in Naples, Florida.

Visited the gym (Crunch) where I was a member. This was my last morning there, since Anna is taking over my membership. (Taking a "medical" leave, I told them--grin!) This photo is about one eighth of the whole workout floor. I will miss it. Peeps there are SO nice!

Could not resist a shot of this 2013 'Vette outside the gym. A LOVELY and WORTHILY spent $60,000 plus. She IS pretty. And a 'handicap' card hanging on the rear vision mirror. Talked with the owner. I believe he hurt his pinkie finger catching a football in the Super Bowl last February

AHHHH, a visit to STARBUCKS. I believe there is one of these stores on Antarctica--long way to go for a "Black-Eye" (coffee with double shot of espresso), my "Drug-of-Choice!"


 Oooops! I forgot to mention, "Black-Eye" is always best with an Apple Fritter, or some such Sweeter thingy. Ummmmmmm! Oh well, I can always cur back yard growth:

This pile of unwanted yard material had to be ready for the County Disposal Department before tonight (Friday). They pick up only what is neatly placed in plastic containers. Another four cans full for next week...

Since I opted out of the gym facility, it was time this morning to pump up the tires on my bicycle, and get

"...ready to ride and spread the alarm
to every middlesex village and farm..."

(and Steve has gone 'bats in his belfry'
where lanterns had shone their light.)
"One if by land, and two if by sea--
I on the opposite shore will be..."

(Partly used are words from Longfellow
"The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere") 

Of course, Peeps...a healthy amount of time is spent daily reading some blog posts, commenting, Face-Booking. I get about 4 hours of sleep every night, nap (siesta in Mexico!) in afternoon, a habit I picked up about two years ago. And play violin, rehearsal and job every week, plus other. And I'm learning (classes) to be a webmaster. Next year I'll be 80--am I supposed to read paper, watch TV, sit around in back yard all day? Maybe! I'll letcha know!
Meanwhile. LOVE and PEACE are from

Tuesday, July 3, 2012



Today I conducted--in concert--a symphony orchestra in works by Brahms, Beethoven and Aaron Copeland.
Not programmed, yet seriously performed were

Brahms: 1st Symphony,
Beethoven: Piano Concerto #5
and Aaron Copeland: Rodeo

Interspersed among those compositions was the music of Mendelssohn Violin Concerto.

What FUN! Oblivious to thousands of Peeps filling Music Hall, I went about waving my arm, pointing with my hand and fingers to the sections of instruments, giving special attention to the solo flute, oboe, or deep-toned cello, etc. And singing the lines of each section, first and second violins, basses (LOVE those bass sounds!), brass, woodwinds tympani--and I, simply lost in the hallways of heaven.

All this happened while I was mowing the grass (weeds) of our back yard. If anyone had seen me (a neighbor did), one arm flailing about, pointing, me singing, at times saying, "Shhhhh" during a pianissimo passage, they would (in fact, he did!!!--grin!) think me certifiable.

Many times I've played these pieces, and hundreds of others. Fortunate I was to be a 'second violinist'. From that chair I could hear all the harmonies, phrases, beats, melodies, and never attempting to memorize, many yet  became embedded in my brain.

The final thought of my life might well be not words, but music, like closing strains of Strauss' Don Juan, or Don Quixote.

Telling truth now, several symphonies and concertos, I could--right now--sit down and write them out, note-for-note, all the movements...not perfectly, but good enough.

So all this stuff IS in my head somewhere, and I can call on and bring up any of a thousand pieces, songs, and 'hear' them in their near-entirety. This happens often, and Peeps ask if I am dreaming or 'slipping away'. All the while, I am enjoying immensely what music I'm 'hearing' at that moment.

Anna asks me now and then, "What is 'playing' today?" And I answer whatever is, e.g., Dvorak Fourth, or a Mozart Piano Trio, or...
and that work usually hangs around me like an aura the rest of the day.

So there I was today, mowing grass in 100 degree heat, in hot sunshine, singing and 'directing'. Gratefully I realize that 'hearing' whole scores of music is really a special gift. And I used to believe everyone did this--grin!

This virtual 'hearing' 'playing' or 'conducting' I call up  from a need to joyfully get through an event. Or maybe from an inspiration, a hope, that in another life, i will count under my baton 120 musicians, called a symphony orchestra.
And I shall direct them with passion.
And I shall call them by their name.
And they shall call me "Maestro"!

--steveroni sends LOVE and PEACE!


Sunday, July 1, 2012



 early morning
no warning,
she drifted away
into break of day

merged herself
in mountain fog,
beyond where lay
swirling sands and
depths of sea 

my misting eyes followed
her into dawn's wetness

she without warning
always returned
on day four wearing nearly
what she wore...before

beaten and bloody--
one shoe gone,
whole body muddy
torn dress showing
nothing on, beneath

this time, walked away
to finally stay on distant shore
she suddenly, stealthily,
stole out from under
our warm place.

she kissed my face
with that judas embrace
and then gone
from now on

now another, who
leaves for south shore
beyond island's mountain.
she kisses my face, smiles and
says, "back in four--or more!"

in gladness i live, love, exist
west of mountain, fog, mist,
await sun's full reflection
and, without warning...
her wet kiss--