Drinking Alcohol taught me how to fly
Then it took away the sky....

Sunday, February 27, 2011



At the time, I didn't even know her name. She could see I was drifting. Sober three months.  Living in AA limbo. She saw my fear, my hopelessness, my despair. 

In June 1974 she simply handed me a brand new 24-Hours-A-Day-Book. She did not bark at me to "Get a sponsor" or "Work the Steps" or "You're gonna get drunk again" or "You'll never make it"... She said only, "Here--read this book". That was thirty-seven years ago (March 18, 2011).

And I'm still sober. 
And I still read it. 
Mary didn't stay sober.
I did!
She died drunk--way too young--several years later.
God bless Mary!

Her death was my first internalization of the power of alcohol, the life-and-death seriousness of our disease--alcoholism.


One more thing:
Funny. Mary had said to me, simply--"read this book"...and I did. EVERY day!

Years later I experienced another one of those AA flashes of light (insights) when a friend said to me, "All one needs to do to begin recovery is contained in the first three words at top of page 112 in the book Alcoholics Anonymous."  

Well I looked it up.  The first three words (a continuation of a sentence from page 111) are ".... .... ...."!  How simple, how complete, how true!  Each of these words are in my list of "AA FOUR-LETTER WORDS".... 

Note 1.  
You'll have to look it up to find out those three words, page 112!

Note 2. 
"Twenty-Four Hours A Day" book is published by Hazeldon, Center City, MN


  1. Your faithlessness and strength are a beautiful testimony to helping others....blessings...bkm

  2. Hey, bkm--do you mean 'faithfulness'? or 'faithlessness'? Inquiring minds want to KNOW!--grin!

    LOVE it that you come here to read my--actually--insignificant stories PEACE!

  3. Hello Steve E

    I came to thank you for your wonderful comments on my work the other day, but to my pleasure I also find that you have a wonderful site. Thank you - it's nice to see people helping other people.

    I'm glad you have found your salvation. I am still seeking mine :)

  4. Steve, I am sure I could dig up a copy of that book, somewhere, but come on!!! Spill!!! Peace to you, you are an inspiration. Congratulations on 37 years of reality.
    You know, that is exactly how many years of sobriety my Dad has. It is funny, but he is suffering with pancreatic cancer, and when he thinks of killing himself he visualizes a car, the woods, and a bottle of brandy. I guess the craving never goes away completely. Peace.

  5. Most important words when I was first rendered sober?

    "I care more about your life than I do your approval."

    I was loved with the love of correction. And they were never mean. Just serious about sobriety; mine AND their's.

    Good stuff, Steve.

  6. And as I'm sure you already know the 24 hour a day book is an edited version of God Calling which is a book that was given from sponsor to sponsee down the lines of sponsorship since Dr Bob and Bill W. were sobering people up at the Smith house in Akron, OH. :)

    Hazeldon saw a good resource and edited it to be more appealing to the masses (that Jesus and bible stuff really freaks a lot of people out) :)

  7. smiles. you are not insignificatn you inspire us each post to achieve steve...darn you though i wonder if i can find this book online...

  8. I'll go looking, but my guess is it says "read this book". :)

  9. I'm grateful for the big book app on my phone! :)

    and it's the truth. Thanks!!

  10. JEREMY!
    Hey could you email me that app for BB? Or the URL for it? Thanks: fiddlemn@naples.net
    Also thanks for looking at page 112--grin!

    Awww! You KNEW it. Rather "You KNOW it, girl!" I left enough clues. Good day to you...and PEACE!

    Are you joking with me, guy? READ THIS BOOK are the words, but of course I meant that

    part of the message for those who WANT it. Jeremy has it on her phone, BTW! PEACE, thanks for the 'pick-me-up' on a sorry day!

    Yep! Knew that...but not until after I had been reading the 24-Hour AND "God Calling" simultaneously ever day for 15 years. TRUE! LOL
    (Except for very little, we sure have lots of AA commonality!) PEACE, woman!

    LOVE that expressive word 'rendered': To surrender or relinquish; yield.
    Your words: "...when I was first rendered sober?" I am SO blest at times of need (now) with blog-friends like you. Love and PEACE!

    I am REALLY sad about your father's suffering. I like to think I'd ask for a HERSHEY BAR..but maybe not with pancreatic cancer...Bless him! I almost wish for him, that he die soon...in PEACE
    (I hope you don't misunderstand what I just wrote. My former wife died from that disease on year ago.)

    PAGE 112 first 3 words are "..read this book."
    LOL. If you buy a Big Book (about $7) you'd always have it to lend or give to someone--maybe save their life, at least from alcoholic death--it IS horrible, unless done by gunshot. Then it's horrible for all those who think they could've prevented it. Oh well!
    PEACE to you too, friend!

    I finally got you here to 'dimensions'. I'm glad, and thanks for your comments. BTW, I have found salvation only on a daily basis, a drink is only an arm's length removed. If I am not DAILY aware of that, I'll be an early death--after all, I'm 'only' age 77...or is it 78? Or...or...FORGET it--grin! At any rate, I stay joyful and sober No Matter What!

  11. Steve, you're a great inspiration to others who have been in your case. Your blog is very inspiring. More power to you and stay happy.
    Alcohol Rehab New York

  12. so sad about Mary...what a lesson her death was and what a great story.. dear Mary..

  13. It is sad about Mary. But am glad that you stayed sober. The BB always has something that amazes me.