Drinking Alcohol taught me how to fly
Then it took away the sky....

Monday, October 31, 2011

INTERMISSION...TAKE TWENTY!

BETWEEN THE GREEN

This past weekend our Central Florida hotel rooms were surrounded by luscious splashings of green:



Green has brushed its way to be a favorite of mine. Well, maybe an exception is clothing-- e.g., shoes, jackets (except in the golfing winners' circle!), trousers (except on clowns!)...hope I've offended only those who wear a lot of green other than during the octave of St Patrick's Feast.

As you might guess, with absolutely nothing to write—I'm empty. Taking some time off from blogging, but will leave this blog open. Please know, I'm not seeking bunches of “Return soon!” comments. From time to time I'll spend one hour most days reading and commenting your stuff—not writing mine. OK?

Happy Peep is me, going to tend to long-neglected living. And I wish you all feel as good as I. A sense of connection,  attachment and love for each Peep who has ever wandered into the “Fourth Dimension”...has been a gift to me.

INTERMISSION RIFF

At one time I entertained (played violin and told stories) with a group—well, a group of two! He and I sang a ditty when we took beer-and-smoke breaks. It went like this (oh, I wish I could sing on this machine):

Gotta go...gotta go...
'Tis th'end of this p'ticular show.
Be back in a while
with a song and a smile
but right now (click-click!) it's
really time to go-o-o-o-o-o...”

PEACE!









Thursday, October 27, 2011

ONLY GOD CAN MAKE A TREE


(Edited from first publishing September 2009)

WARNING!! This re-post concerns
 prayer, meditation and God--
AS EACH UNDERSTANDS GOD
--OR NOT!

*


SILENCE!

I recall in grade one, Sister Rose Gertrude --when all else would fail--shouted (her whole four feet of body shaking) "SILENCE!"  And boy, would we get quiet.  A pin dropping sounded like baseball bouncing on floor.



 SHHHHHH!
In the small country church, at certain times during mass, quiet was so quiet, it was LOUD.  But quiet lent itself to momentary feelings of peace, serenity.  I remember counting my heartbeats, because I could hear them, in the silence.
 
Early in sobriety, a man told me when I 'talk' to God, to be quiet, and know that He is God, not me.   This was my first inkling how to 'implement' meditation and prayer, how to start.  I realized then, that quietness had to be a part of it.
 
I have seen people praying agitatedly, gripping their hands together, and with furrowed, sweaty brow, trying to 'decode' God, and that may be good for some Peeps. 

My praying has evolved into a more meditative mode.  I sometimes simply desire to be with God, just be there, and enjoy the moments. (After all, God knows what I need and/or want--grin!)

NOTE: I believe there is no 'right' nor 'wrong' way to pray, Okay?!! My OWN opinion continues:
 
Meditation is union with God.  If I am upset, making plans, counting minutes or rosary beads while wishing I were somewhere else, it is very difficult to form that Oneness.  
 
One word can start me off—Silence! Being quiet is a beginning of meditation.  Each event, the beginning of a new life.  

In August 2009 a 3,000-mile 17-day scooter ride to Virginia was for me a life-changing event. That experience allows me to look now at the universe in a totally new way.
 
My beliefs may change over time. They will not alter this fact: my whole self felt then and now-- different. A new person inhabits this skeleton.  A few Peeps might might scoff, but I know what I know.
 
My gratitude-of-the-moment was and is for people God arranged for me to meet during my ride.  Several taught me valuable lessons, by baring their souls to me, a stranger. Others, caring and sharing, were at church celebrations, AA meetings. Still others were those random meetings of strangers in the night! And how wonderful are those chance encounters,  spiritual moments happening with open sharing of our disease--humanness.
 

M
editation goes beyond limitation of words and thoughts.  In early schooling I was told Who God is. I had been given an image of God.  But none of that is as I now imagine.  I make no attempt in word or thought to visualize God.

Hundreds of years ago a mystic wrote in The Cloud of Unknowing,  "You want to know God? There is only one way of knowing Him:  By unknowing."  I must get beyond my mind and thought. Only then am I able to perceive Him with my heart.
 
And in noiseless moments, stillness, quiet, silence, I can "know God", at first vaguely, then more and more clearly as time endures. I can live in Him and He in me.  

Wake up now, Steve! There are some roses to smell...

Peeps?..............oh, THERE you are!
Peace.
Love.
Steve

Posted by steveroni
September 16, 2009

 *ACORN DRAWING (SQUIGGLING!)
MY GOOD FRIEND

Monday, October 24, 2011

IN UNISON

"Unison" will be published in dverse Poets Open Link Night #15 Tuesday October 25, 2011 
at or after 3 PM.
Come visit the magic of 150+ poets each week!




LADY 'GREETER' AT LIGHTNER MUSEUM, 
ST AUGUSTINE, FLORIDA
One of hundreds photos from our October 2011 trip...
 
IN UNISON
  
In fluffy cloud i see your face

in busy crowd i watch you
everywhere--you are there
as if

following
your feet steps
i could not veer
even if

from your youth
your truth
tried steering away
as if

you will not
disappear
no matter what.
It's as if

you precede me
until in every place we meet
again and once again
as if

in breeze softly
your sighs i hear
these and so much more.
as if

each floral smell
reminds of that scent
you lent, dear.
it is as if

what i ever touch
becomes that same feel
as your skin pressing on my own.
we are as if

so tightly bound
albeit unsound
as if it is
as it is...

--steveroni



Wednesday, October 19, 2011

VACATION REVERIE

I HAD A DREAM

Sunday night I re-lived a scene: --WWII newsreel in a downtown theater--which I viewed in 1943. My dream of a naval battle was as real and vivid had I lived it.

"Battle Stations...all hands, Battle Stations! Pilots, man your planes! Pilots, man your planes! We are under attack! Enemy fighter-bombers are incoming.


The excitement was beyond belief. Men--well, BOYS!--running up ladders, down, scurrying, rushing. Life-or-death for everyone. Apprehension reigned. Not from fear nor trepidation, but a definite anxiety showed on every face--strong determination in each beating heart, to work together to save our home, our ship, our planes, our carrier, the USS YORKTOWN. 

I was age 10 and knew so well these battles, following them on radio newscasts and in newsreel films at  movie houses. 

Now, in my dream nearly 70 years after, I heard once again screaming engines of Japanese Zero fighter aircraft, dive-bombing the fleet. I 'heard' this past Sunday night also screams of wounded, bloody bodies, some carrying their own limb--or limbs--limping along seeking some sort of heavenly help into that next life.

The scene next morning, Monday October 17, 2011.....


.....in Charleston, South Carolina I pointed my camera from that same stair-ladder as those who scrambled these same steps on USS YORKTOWN C-10, the second carrier so named. The first Yorktown had been sunk in 1942 during the Battle of Midway in the Pacific. This visit to a Navy Museum on the Carrier Yorktown was my first time on board "The Fighting Lady". Unforgettable, that's what it was. Anna and I spent the whole morning inspecting and snapping photos from engine room, to flight deck.

Wanted to give Peeps, 'peeks' of our vacation. Memorable as well, our greetings, meetings, and eatings!--with blogger friends Jessie R and husband Shawn R. They toured us around Charleston-Town. Such pleasure God allowed us. Also for the big things--sobriety, and the little things--a phone call from a friend far away, just to say "How are you?"...for all these I am ever grateful to our Creator-of-all-things!

Love and PEACE!

Published for and posted in Dverse Poet's Open Link Night (OLN)

Sunday, October 9, 2011

TRIP 1 (Pre-trip)

USS YORKTOWN CV-10

One for the money
Two for the show
Three to get ready

Thursday we will drive to St Augustine FL, eat, attend a meeting, sleep, another meeting in morning, then drive to Charleston SC. And I am SO excited, really! Get to see one of my favorite “Fella-da-Peeps”, Jessie (that was Italian—grin!), and her husband, and several different rooms-full of members at meetings, and at breakfasts, dinners (restaurants!).

Beautiful city, lower humidity than Naples. I've been there (on my scooter!) Septembers of 2009 and 2010. Those experiences taught me this will be a FUN trip, of AA meetings, and meeting new Peeps. And of course, being with our friends. And all inspired by these blogs!

Jessie and S. have a load of crab feet—I mean crab legs--planned for Friday night after meeting on the outside cooker. It is a 'tradition' at their house to do a meeting-after-the-meeting every Friday where they live—with food! Maybe I'll bring a pound of butter, don't crabs always go good with butter? Now you know what a great 'cook' I am.

But I'm taking my own violin this time. The borrowed instrument last year left a little to be desired in quality, and other...but it was fun, at least for me!

Jessie can spend some time with us Sat and Sun, so I'm saving one of the following week-days to tour the WWII aircraft carrier pictured above. (Unless that interests Jess??) That's another thrill for me, as I only saw it in movie theater newsreels, as it was under attack by planes with circles on their wing—the Rising Sun. In early 1941-45 who could ever foresee that one day we'd be taking our vacation in a Toyota RAV4?

And yes, it is still a crazy world. That might be another post's topic.

For now, I can easily predict spiritual holidays ahead for us, even serene—grin! And yes, I know “God does not change flat tires, OR drive cars!” But He does everything else, if we let Him, and cooperate with Him...so I've been told!

Those of you who are Alcoholics, stay sober with us, and a prayer won't hurt—as we pray for y'all also. (Gotta get used to talkin' 'southun'! Pronounced “suh-thun”--grin!)

We also plan to visit North Carolina, then zip back for a couple days to St. Augustine Florida (more AA blog-friends there) before returning home October 25—then leave again October 28 for 3 days.

Who said old, retired Peeps don't have fun? (It's just that we take siestas in between!)
Bless you, all you blog friends.
Love, and PEACE!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

THEN AND NOW!

Written for and posted to
Open Link Night
(Open Tuesdays at 3 PM EDT)

DREAM--A MIRROR OF REALITY

In sleep's deep I see
so far away, ago,
a life unfolded

imagined spies
real lies
daily scolded

years of tasting
forbidden universe,
drunken, drugged
unplugged...

...and the world
with its pretty face
finally, at the ugly last...
seemed a strange place

Altogether
correct, as written:
first time around...
IS my hell.

<*snap*>!!!

Wake-up time!
Mr Sunshine!
Show me that river
take me across.
From this moment
You be 'boss'.

My span of living
still happening!
Enjoying this sequel,
continuously-unfolding
invented time.

Exploring wood:
hiking trails
playing in the sea.
All people--gather.
Join as one...and 
let love guide
to promised land.

--Steve E
4/10/2011



IMAGE:
Dream Mirror of Reality 
by kimag3500
in Deviant Art

Saturday, October 1, 2011

A COMMENT

Saturday morning I am driving to Central Florida to visit my daughter. She is moving several thousand miles away, and I may not see her again. This is a wonderful moment for me, to give my blessing to my daughter, to bless her choice of a new life, and new “Way of Life”!  Be back Monday....




A BROKEN MAN


The following I wrote as a comment early this morning to one who stated on her blog that “...once a human is 'broken' they can never be 'fixed'.” I could not resist publishing my comment here:

Dear XXXXXXX

I do not believe any broken person is beyond repair. My own life is my example--and my proof. 38 years ago (age 40) my life was over.

If my drinking did not kill me soon, I had planned to drive into a bridge abutment at high speed. (A policeman told me that is the easiest, least painful way to die.) Today, every time I drive past that bridge I smile, thinking back what I would have missed: A wonderful, mostly happy, sober life of freedom these last 37 years. (And there are no left-over, reminder bloody spots on that bridge support.)

I was completely broken, and have been 'fixed' by a Higher Power (God) Who brought me into Alcoholics Anonymous, and a new way of life! How can I not be grateful enough to spread this healing word just as I lived it?

Thank you for understanding why I did not give up--all because I DID surrender.

NOTE: “The dead drug leaves a ghost behind. At certain hours it haunts the house.”
--Jean Cocteau

PEACE!

IMAGE:  a_broken_man_by_NuclearSeasons
in Deviant Art