Drinking Alcohol taught me how to fly
Then it took away the sky....

Tuesday, April 19, 2011



Being alone has its charm. I can just do what alcoholics can do best—sit and think!--grin! Actually, “sitting-and-thinking” is NOT the best place for an alcoholic. My thinking, my BEST thinking brought me all the way down to the bottom of the pit of my disease—alcoholism.

And so, here I am at 5 AM on a Tuesday morning—sitting and thinking. I am remembering those I have met along my rocky road working, learning, and living an AA way of life. Especially those who did not 'make it'. They were/are many. As I ponder this, it yet amazes me how many personally known suicides were a direct result of the anguish, the torment, all hope abandoned. At least 14 I can recall and name, since I stopped drinking. Any one of them could have been me.

I would have missed meeting with and knowing countless wonderful Peeps, and living countless wonderful experiences. Some of those whose paths and mine crossed are remembered fondly, but with wonder as to how are they? Moved away. Probably still sober, joyful, and freely happy.

One fellow I recall met with me every Saturday to go fishing in the intricately woven inland waterways which are everywhere here. That was during my Boating-Fishing Era. Don't even remember the circumstances of his leaving Naples—but it was NOT at the Sheriff's request.

Thousands of annual visitors to Naples return again and again to our AA meetings, but when they ARE absent, I do occasionally “sit-and-think” about them with fond memory and a prayer of thanks for letting us share some time and experiences.

I met once a lady who seemed to have lived much of the same life I had lived—drunk...then sober. We did walk a bit and talk a bit. She, a singer, asked me to play my violin. We chose a spot in a park, where I played Ave Maria, and she sang. One of those rare never-to-be-repeated-nor-forgotten moments, folded—not faded-- into banks of memory.

My wife I met in Alcoholics Anonymous--she had been sober 5 years. That was 20 years ago.

Sharing in sobriety is not simply giving and receiving. It frequently becomes a mutually spiritual connection between Peeps, which I had never, NEVER enjoyed prior to the gift of this, my second life!

One hour from now I'll go to my early morning AA meetings, full of gratitude for the gift God gave me, Alcoholics Anonymous, without which I would have died many, many years ago, because I was one of those helpless, hopeless ones, who at age 40, was given a second chance. Maybe I'll meet some soul, a stranger (but not really!), struggling with his own life in the bottle, wanting so strongly to climb out. And maybe, just maybe, we will help one another.......I'll sit for one more minute, and “think about that”--grin!

Steve E



  1. "sometimes i sits and thinks, and sometimes i just sits..." hey steve, love your post. words are not always necessary, nor is sharing, talking, doing. that silent companionship with another who understands you is worth gold...

  2. I think about what has happened rarely these days. I do remember those who have died. But it is how I keep them, through memory, alive. Wonderful thoughts today Steve. Help someone out there so that they will keep living and have hope that there is a solution.

  3. This post brings contentment at the reading even though not all is reflection on good things in the world, it is full up with the gratitude for each experience. God in all things :)

    Thank you Steve <3

  4. smiles. i likes to sits...and somethings thinks...hope you had a great meeting this morning man...glad you got grat...

  5. SHADOW!
    Welcome here! You always have such counsoling* ideas to comment. Thank you. Love and PEACE!

    *Joined words 'counsel' and 'console'

    Well, don't forget "sit-and-think" is an AA thing, not necessarily one of Alanon's bad practices--grin!

    I am thinking to tell you also that you come through in comments (on many other blogs also) as a wise counsoler* usually just when another is in need of your words. It's a God-Wink, I'm sure.
    Thank you for MUSCH..I meant MUCH!!!--grin!
    Love and PEACE!

    *cross-worded 'Counselor' and 'consoler'

  6. thanks for your gratitude Steve! It boosts mine!

  7. I think more when i lie down...--'grin' (as you'd say)
    hey- sweet man, I've been missing this nice place.
    Thank you for 'always'.

  8. CINDY!
    Sounds like you are recuperating well, after major surgery only five days ago--back in the blogs already. are we? Hmmmmmm! Did you even HAVE that operation? Glad to see you anyway, anyhow, any time. And GRATEFUL!

    I sleep when I lie down--sometimes when I'm standing--grin! Glad you find the time to visit now and then. Thank you, Dulce...

  9. i think if you have been in a place like you were - then you are even more thankful for things that someone else would not even see - and i also think that in the dark hours, we sometimes make deep and important discoveries - and this is why i enjoy reading your work steve - it's soaked with gratitude and wisdom

  10. i'm here, listening. headed to my 12 step meeting this morning. haven't gone in two years. thank you for writing. i love your new dimension.

  11. I'm glad that now when you're sitting and thinking, your thoughts are of great and positive things touched along the edge like shading in a lovely work of art with sadness to give you depth and empathy.

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