Drinking Alcohol taught me how to fly
Then it took away the sky....

Thursday, December 1, 2011



Several years I have been closing almost every blog post or other communication with the word "PEACE"!  Not simply a closing word, but a carefully thought, serious expression from deep within myself.

Whether illusion, delusion, or fact, it's how I have felt for some years now, after a life of early physical and mental abuse, followed by nearly 25 years of alcoholic drinking, and those pretty little pink pills. OH! What a voyage I've traveled. How fortunate I, to have experienced life as only a drunk can know, then allowed, helped, to quit that life, exchange it for years of sobriety.

And all the time seeking peace, so illusive for me, who returned to earth several times each day, wondering not only where my truck was parked--but did I even own a truck? Always though was that dream of being at peace, being one with the world. Some years, yes, I was in that space, no doubt--seeing it now--a product of denial rather than a life well-lived.

But survive I have, for no reason that I see--yet! Actually, that's not quite true. Lots of Peeps ask questions, and boy, do I have answers--grin!

Another reason for my survival is that I can now sit here, in fog-less (sleepless) stare, and wish for each of you....

P.S. Image is the back of my fancy phone case


  1. i am glad you found peace and share it among those that visit...perhaps, no i know it gives hope to many...

  2. So cool, Steve - and LOLOL on the new mobile jacket! Let your freak flag fly ;~D

    I just commented to another blogger, a very interesting man if you read his bio in that he's travelled the world working corporate and is back again doing communications work in NY. Anyway, I just commented because he writes of a colleague having committed suicide. He saw him, afer being told he'd been made redundant, hopping on his bicycle that he rode to work everyday. He was close enough looking out the window to see the man's expressionless face and puzzled at that, wishing he had reached out then but now can only say a prayer for him...too late.
    I replied:
    "Yes, it's better to reach out before rather than attempt our feeble prayers to reach into the nethers after the fact. I believe it takes courage to live. We who struggle day to day to keep our faces turned to the light, look through ugliness in ourselves and others, struggle through and release ill-will and self-righteous inabilities to 'live and let live' (meaning ultimately to forgive), we who determine to realise that - come what may - life is beautiful in and of itself, we are the lucky ones."

  3. You are an happy soul. God indeed helped you to find peace. I never saw a bit of hate in you.

  4. Passing it on and 'walking the walk'
    are so important. Gratitude for the moments of experiencing it, also!
    (-not to mention prayers concerning
    it) Thanks.

  5. isn't there a saying about what we wish we for others, is what we wish for ourselves?

    if there isn't, there should be.

    wishing us both peace!

  6. Grateful for the peace you share and the reflections too

    always appreciate you my friend

  7. Peace well earned and generously shared.

  8. Peace is terrifyingly underrated these days.
    The focus is merely money related one way or the other.
    It's so sad.
    Inner peace or "Peace on earth" like the angel proclaimed 2000 years ago, doesn't seem of common interest any more.
    It's so sad in this world gone wrong.

    For those who has had to put down a fight to obtain peace, nothing can compare to that.
    In fact, I don't believe in peace without an inner struggle.
    Neither do I believe in peace without a divine blessing.

    I know what you have found is genuine. Your joy is contagious.

  9. Amen to that. You know, Mr. Roni, you do more than just offer answers. I see you at Ces's, and the genuine joy and enthusiasm and love you share with friends is really something special. I am very glad to know you.