Drinking Alcohol taught me how to fly
Then it took away the sky....

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

FINALLY...THE GIFT

EVERY SECOND--CHANGES OCCUR 

Pages from my past,
an ethereal dream, 
the lost years 
and the present...

 BEFORE AND AFTER

Voices I heard, like
in distance muffled,
ethereal:

[Even today I can recollect
smells and tastes
of that ether

suffocating under mask
held so tightly by doctor...
his task:

to kill me.
Operation success.
Patient died.”
And there I,
age five.
Helpless!

devoid
of tonsils,
adenoid,
for breakfast--
ice cream!]

While 'under' I dreamed
so true, it seemed:

From across great hall
seated on bench, I saw
child running so fast
to catch Santa's last
Eve' in the mall!

Man (from North Pole?),
whiskey bottle in hand
wore dingy blues
thinly threaded,
and oil soaked shoes,
holes in soles, and
dirty-blue headband

'Running' boy climbed on lap,
he looked really sad.
Through tears, said softly
'It's Okay...Dad'.”

Observing all this
finally I know...
how frequently I missed
the 'whole show'.

Drunken isolation.
Fear of rejection then.
And now?

I thrive on greeting,
meeting for a spell;
connecting with
not only friends,
but strangers as well.

I used to gaze down at the floor.
Always.
While hastily seeking any door.
Escape!

I found that 'way out'
--wanted to shout
about the discovery
about my recovery

Now looking forward,
never wanting to miss
split-second glance
of a Peep's eyes,
your eyes...your smiles,
hugs of meaningful support,
possible sweet kiss!

Steveroni
2011 December 26


*inspired by Claudia's “Christmas tree” poem on diverse

Written For DVERSE Poets Pub
Open Link Night
Write a po-em, publish, then after 3 PM (Eastern) Tuesday
link it HERE


27 comments:

  1. A never ending inspiration- your blog!!! :)

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  2. Beautiful ...just like you and your soul!

    God bless you ,babe!

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  3. I read it like a trailer of a movie, and I wanted to hear more, to know more.

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  4. oh man...the santa dad that had been drinking...that hit me hard steve-o...i hope you had a merry christmas brother...well spun story...

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  5. JaLpArI – tHe MeRmAiD!
    Good to see you over this way, Almas! Imagine...3 responses—all from Eastern Peeps. Next year you'll all probably talk me into celebrating Ramadan, and EID here in Naples, Florida—grin! Will I have to eat all those candies, sweet breads and pastries? In that case.............................well...YESSS! LOL!

    Izdiher!
    My Friend...you say things to make me believe you do not know me!
    But I LOVE what you write, anyways. I am happy we are friends. Although you are a popular blog-writer, even more Peeps should take time to read your uninhibited wisdom...my opinion.

    OCEANGIRL!
    Thank you! And yes...there IS more. As with everyone, my
    life also is B I G ! Nice comment, I appreciate.

    BRIAN!*
    Ah, a most favorite Peep—from the west. Is that West Virginia? I DO believe if you were to abstain from commenting, I'd be out there trying to find in which hospital you were a patient.

    *If YOUR Christmas was as wonderful as mine, we are TWO HAPPY DADS—grin!
    PEACE!

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  6. i'm in tears..moved me deeply steve...glad you're looking no longer at the floor - think you're one of the guys who sees a lot in blogworld..and beyond the written word..

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  7. I want to look into your eyes, hug and kiss yes ~

    This was a moving and touching share. I like that you are sharing your journey, and from the looks of it, becoming stronger and better writer too ~

    Cheers for the new year ~

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  8. Many sweet schmackers your way, Steve for this warm and life-affriming write. You always through your heart into everything you write. A wonderful and supremely Happy New Year to you, Steve.

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  9. Do forget about what you missed because of the spirit- will you? and instead welcome a warm sweet kiss from this poetesss; it's all you need to feel that bliss you are looking for... or is it not? (hope that's enough..)

    Man, you rock!
    Happy New year my dearest peep!

    Love peace and etc

    DD

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  10. Those childhood memories try so hard to hold us, but we can live beyond them. Well done.

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  11. oh wow... very heartfelt piece.. nice write

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  12. It's amazing what the disease will do... and miraculous what God can do. I'm so glad you've made it through to the other side, Steve.

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  13. Awwh.... It seems its the sensitive artistic soul that suffers most. What a miracle you made it through, appreciating now only what others (who haven't lived through such a private hell and made it through) will never know. Selah

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  14. CLAUDIA!
    As you'd know, more than some—none else brings a poet-Peep more inner peace, than to think his words 'moved' another. Thank you for that comment!

    Actually, your poetry not only 'moves' me—it inspires!
    Gratefully wishing you health and happy in 2012, and
    PEACE!

    HEAVEN!
    Thank you for a needed supportive comment. I remember teaching (violin) to ALWAYS balance 'criticism' with 'positive'. NMW (No Matter What!) New Year Cheer back atcha!

    HEDGEWITCH!
    Schmackers! LOVE 'em! And for your comment, how do I say “Thank You?” “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”--grin!
    PEACE ALWAYS!

    SWEETER!
    Oh Dulce...I willingly accept your advice—grin! Any positive experiences given me, I receive with Joy. At this age is always room for a bit more! LOL! Thank you ever much for your welcome kind words.

    A Sweeter, Happy, Blessed New Year for YOU and your son M., is my wish. PEACE, you!

    POEMBLAZE!
    You right! There are still several of those childhood memories I refuse to let go. But I live with AND beyond them. They leave a ghost behind which at times returns to haunt the house! Thank you for positive response.
    PEACE!

    ANTHONY DESMOND!
    Thank you for reading, and commenting—I had just been over to read you, sorry I don't come there more often. A song: “Don't Get Around Much Anymore” that fits me to a “T”! Not decrepit, just a bit slow these days! Peace in 2012...and happy too!

    JESSIE!
    Ah! I smile when I see your name in the comment column. True! And we both look forward to your own outstanding posts. You always broach our favorite type of discussion—you know! Happy and PEACEFUL 2012, Jessie-Girl....

    LAURIE KOLP!
    Yup! Without the disease though, I'd never found the 'program'. So I can even be 'grateful' for having been through those terrible 20's. (That's 20+ years of daily and heavy drinking. Also now, I got something to 'talk' about—grin!!! Thanks, Laurie, for dropping by , reading, and commenting! PEACE!

    CATFISH TALES!
    Wow! You have a real understanding of the disease, woman. And when you write 'miracle', I have a feeling you know what a miracle it is...can be tagged with NO other name! (Of course, every weed which ever sprouted its head through dirty sand, is a miracle!) Did I write that line?!
    PEACE! (Always and Forever!)

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  15. Steve, I can still remember that mask coming down on my face at 5..same damn operation...and I can still remember that sore throat.

    You have such an enormous ball of redemption in this.

    Lady Nyo

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  16. 'Running' boy climbed on lap,
    he looked really sad.
    Through tears, said softly
    'It's Okay...Dad'.”

    That broke my heart.

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  17. LADY NYO!
    You DO understand! Wow!

    MAMA ZEN!
    It is truly an honor--to have broken your heart--with some words I wrote.
    PEACE ALWAYS!

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  18. Yeah, missing the whole show back then was scary- I am so glad I can show up today and stay! Happy New Year-

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  19. Steve! That is not true. I DO give away the originals, drawings, paintings. The ones you have are parts of series and the giveaways are prints because they are give away to many people. Gah! I will give you an original and then you have to write another recommendation for me. Hah!

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  20. I could relate to the cast-down eyes, the expectation of rejection. And the rebirth. What a revolution!

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  21. dear steve , i have no words for you this night except to say i am deeply happy i got over being mad at you for what seems like lifetimes ago....you have a heart of gold. and words that break this heart wide open. xoxxo and much happiness and peace in the coming year. ♥

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  22. I love this, Steve. You have a wonderful heart, full of warmth and giving.

    I'm going to be bringing a hug your way soon, my friend. Literally. SO brace yourself.

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  23. Sweeeeeeeeeet!

    I had my tonsils out at 18.

    And YOU write mind-blowing poetry with the flow of a babbling brook near my grandmother's house.

    Hope you got that kiss!!

    xo

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  24. JANNIE!
    You are just TOO NICE! Comments like yours ARE kisses. PEACE!

    PATTIKEN!
    It IS warming up again. We had a 3-day cold spell, down to 42 at 6 AM yesterday.
    So come one! Bring that HUG with you, woman!

    LINDA!
    I am deeply happy over your getting over your 'mad' at me, even though I did not know it was happening. Just shows: Anger and Resentment do NOT hurt the onle who is being resented. I am grateful, believe me, that it is GONE! Please...next time let me know, so I can hurt.
    PEACE!

    ENCHANTED OAK!
    Yup, I believe there are many who can relate with one another on MANY defective issues. And yessss: “Comes the Revolution” (AA)!!!
    Thanks for you comment.
    PEACE!

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  25. Beautiful poem, Steve.

    So honest.

    Thanks for sharing your heart.

    I couldn't let the year end without me dropping by here to let you know I truly am thankful for the gift of your friendship.

    Surely 2012 will usher in blessings of peace, joy, hope, and provision for you and for me.

    BLesings
    Lidia

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