Drinking Alcohol taught me how to fly
Then it took away the sky....

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

"...and if there IS a heaven, God..."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
dVerse Poets Pub
TWO YEARS!

Open Link Night Week #105 


My post today will not be published on dVerse, because
I decided it was not appropriate--not a poem, but a list.


LETTER TO GOD 

FROM: MY DOG SINDY
(repost from "I don't know where".)

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers like I do, but seldom, if ever, smell one another (like I do)?

Dear God: When I get to heaven, can I sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Are there letter-carriers in Heaven

Dear God: From now on, I promise to be a “good” dog. Every morning I review this list

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it OR after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing. 

P.S.
And, Oh Yes! Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back? OH, Thank You, thank you, THANK YOU!!!

Posted by VERY grateful doggie

28 comments:

  1. hahaha...i hope you get your testicles back...smiles....haha..ah if only we smelled each other a bit more...what the heck man...did you find the bathroom? smiles...ah, hate to make a liar of you but i posted it...for the comic relief...smiles....thanks brother for always being there....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YOU, Friend, are some neat guy. Thanks!
      --Liar (Pants are in a burning heap outside!)

      Delete
  2. Ha,ha.... My three dogs woof in response. AND my one boy dog wishes for his testicles back as well. Smile. The two girls don't care about their missing parts.

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    Replies
    1. My dog wanted me to express for him TO YOUR THREE, how his day is going. He said , "ROUGH! ROUGH!

      Delete
  3. Thanks for a great laugh. Loved it. And say hello to Doggie and hope he keep some of the rules

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like to laugh--and when another laughs WITH me, it is quadrupled in joy!

      Happiness and laughter MUST be attributes also of the Creator, from which we inherit.

      Delete
  4. Steve, this is so funny!
    #10 is so my dog Jake, trying to cure him of this one!

    Thanks for the laughs.
    You have a great sense of humor :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anna is trying to break me of that habit also--some habits are hard to give up. Smiling!!!

      Your daughter Rose is one of the c u t e s t little Peeps!

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    2. Steve, Rose is my granddaughter :)
      And thank you, I adore her!

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    3. How sweet. How lovely!
      Enjoy LIVING!

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  5. This is rather funny..thank for the laugh today Steve..

    Peace & Light..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't post this on dVerse, Tru, but Brian (Admin) tucked it in. If it brought you a smile...it's worth it!

      Delete
  6. What a list!
    Funny and fun to read
    Always, Steve
    ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hee-hee, yes, makes ya want to own a dog.....or three, right?

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  7. Absolutely brilliantly witty and so true regarding man's best friend!

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    Replies
    1. ...Just staying serene, John...glad you like it.

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  8. Hi Steve! Good to read you again and I see you are presenting us with a funny poem with insights to your very cool dog. Loved it, but I think God has very special dog places set aside in heaven and will make it a place to have fun, fun, fun with a lot of doggie friends!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You may be right. Animals bless us in many ways...but few with that loving faithfulness of our dogs

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  9. awww! this is a sweet piece! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Akila G. I will respond by visiting your site.

      Delete
  10. Oh God, I am always embarrassed when my dog stick its nose into someone's crotch.

    Nobody agrees that this is a way of saying 'hello'.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Consider that whoever has your dog's snout in their crotch is WAY MORE embarrassed than you, Mr Rainfeld61--grinning!

    Depending on the crotch--it might be a way of saying "goodbye" rather than "hello"!

    Glad you stopped by, Sir!

    ReplyDelete
  12. You have a cute fella! I recognize a bunch of these behaviors!
    Our dogs are both larger and very vocal- Lab/Goldie cross and Shepard.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Back on the farm" (thousand years ago...) lived with us several collies, one shep, and a few strays, and at least 2 dozen cats...LOTS of barns and hiding places, fun for animals!

      Is that really YOU out there raking the hay/grass? If you answer this I'll know you came back!
      ;-)

      Delete
  13. woooo I had so much fun reading this :)
    dogs are much cuter when they do fishy things :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like the one where doggie is meeting his owners at the front door. He says, "WHEW! Am I GLAD you're home. Somebody pooped all over the hall carpet...
      It was a picture on FB I think....

      Delete
    2. ha ha.. :D
      if it is I'd love to watch that movie :P

      Delete
    3. NOT a movie...just a posted single.
      If I can find it, ill send it..,really funny...the look on doggie's face?

      Delete