Drinking Alcohol taught me how to fly
Then it took away the sky....

Thursday, January 19, 2012


NOTE: Yesterday (Wednesday) morning we met blogger Patti and her husband Bill. They live in Massachusetts. Most enjoyable 2-hour breakfast ever—maybe my first—grin! Again I must write that meeting a Peep--who I only knew through the blogs—is just like meeting a friend...we already know one another. It is always like that! Thank you, God!


"Some people say there is no life after death,” said a disciple.

"Do they?” said the Master, noncommittally.

"Wouldn't it be awful to die and never again see nor hear nor love nor move?”

"You find that awful?” said the Master. “But that's how most people are even before they die.”

Awakening”, #219 by De Mello

Peeps, I'll try to be honest here. My life was never boring. I shoveled cow manure, and at age 12-13, raised a steer from calf-to-auction grade at the County Fair. I sat for years on a stage in tie-and-tails, playing violin in a major symphony orchestra.

I was a barman, bus driver, Ritz Carlton entertainer, sidewalk strolling musician. From a 25-year career of alcoholic drinking and behavior, I've become a long-time sober Peep.Ya know how I did that?  
Just didn't drink—and didn't die!

But I never really lived! Whatever I did was to please someone else—or so it seemed to me. Not that I was forced—just that I wanted everyone to like (love) me, so I became a certified people-pleaser—I THOUGHT......(How could I please another—others—when, in drunken stupor I was walking all over their lives, hopes, dreams?)

Finally,now, "I know a new freedom, a new happiness. I will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. I comprehend the word 'serenity'--and know peace. No matter how far down the scale I've gone, I see how my experiences of the past can benefit others." *

Sure, all this sounds so goody-goody. Well, it is nowhere near perfect...but SO much better, I do not worry about 'perfect'--not any more!

This is certain: I shall not die “having never seen, nor heard, nor loved, nor moved!”


*Book "Alcoholics Anonymous" pp. 83-84 (slightly Edited)


  1. You are one nice peep, Steve Jan .That why everything in your life is so good so far.

    Living life to fullest is real meaning of life.

    God bless you .

  2. I would like to get qualified as a certified pleaser as well.


    But it would not be easy.


  3. Life,, I think :) is about having a dream and being grateful for everything, the past and the present. My continued prayer is for God to give me the goodness of this life, and the goodness of the afterlife.

  4. what you met patti? that is awesome...she is on my list of bloggers i would love to meet...

  5. you are on that list too by the way...smiles.

  6. Striking a balance- being kind, considerate and helpful; on the path to really living!-Hmmm...I am willing! Nice outlook :)

  7. Being a "people pleaser" myself, I really relate to what you're saying. It always feels selfish when I make time for me...to live. :)
    Thanks for being the person who had the strength to accept God's hand and for sharing that process with others.

  8. Steve-Fans, this guy we love to read is everything you think he is. He's one of the nicest (and perhaps wisest) people I've met. :-)

    Thanks for a fun breakfast, Steve. We'll do it again.

    Oh, and Brian? You're on my "gotta meet" list too!

    Dontcha know?—you DO know! Living life is lots better than worrying about it. A sort of trust hangs there, like “”Six bells...and all's well!” Thanks for visiting, Peep.

    You wish qualification – certification? Send $10 in self-addressed envelope, your certificate will arrive by return mail...(Accepted by fake doctors everywhere!)

    That may well be my short prayer for tonight: God grant me the goodness of this life, and the goodness of the afterlife.
    Gratefully, I wish you also PEACE!

    Meeting People is my most favorite activity, specially if they riding a Harley—grin! But I cannot describe the thrill of meeting a stranger with whom I already have a connection. BTW, I am truly honored to be on that list, know THAT! We gotta do it one fine day.
    PEACE, my friend!

    Balance! Such small word with humongous meaning. Yes, a good reminder that 'really living' does not mean 'self-centered living'.
    And “willingness” Ha! That's the KEY, right? Blessings.
    And PEACE!

    In responding to comments, I forgot that topic was “people-pleasing...(shaking head in shame!) Well, people pleasing for me ALWAYS was--is--a self-serving slice of pie. Ego (Pride) and fear also play a big part, along with wanting YOU to tell me how great I am. Well, you stopped doing that. Thanks—grin!

  10. A life well lived, Steve. The ups and downs but still above ground. That's good.

  11. so cool to meet people from the blogworld.... i have met gay cannon and anton gourman in london last year..this was just awesome...and hey..when you were a busdriver, i guess people just took the bus because you were on board, no matter where it would go...eh?

    Awwww! Gawrsh! (blushing)

    Yes, we did 'talk' about Brian, didn't we...shhhhhhhhhh!
    See you Peeps again soon.

    If no downs, there'd be no ups. Thanks for your comment. One more day of debating squabbles...and then:

    Since you met Gay, then you DO understand that thrill and warmth of blogger-meetings!

    Re: Bus driving. For five years I drove 6 ahhh...mentally challenged Peeps to-and-from their jobs at a hotel on Marco Island, about a 25-mile trip each was. Soooo, yes, I DO have stories. We had SO MUCH FUN! Each day I'd have an activity where we each participated. And they looked forward to our daily rides. they loved it...and so did I. Maybe I'll blog some of the stories some day. When I begin to write about those days, I just cannot do them justice...it's like "Ya gotta be there"--almost!

  13. G'day mate, yes we all have a story to tell and a journey through life to walk, some have it easier and some harder. I personally believe that when we suffer a little we become more compassionate, loving and caring of others..we learn humility and grace. It can be confusing, especially at the time..Looking back on my own life, one where I have come through so much, I know its what has shaped me. We can become bitter with life or better. We can change our scar's into stars and laugh with joy knowing this moment and this hour, is all we have a certainty of,so enjoy while you can. I can see you have a sweet nature and a good heart.
    Blessings to you. Crystal Mary

    We can make life "bitter or better." That thought might be a morning meditation!

    Thanks for your visit and thoughtful comment.

  15. This is so cool...and it's never too late to live the life you choose and want so I am glad you realized it now. Peace!

  16. AYALA!
    YOU are one cool chick, faithful follower. I just cannot find time to get around to everyone's blog who I would LIKE...and then there's FB! HA! You know about that, also--grin!
    Thank you, and of course...PEACE!

  17. and how do we stop living to please others?
    how do we find the peace?
    what exactly is living life to the fullest?

    I am happy for you steve....but this is a sad topic for me......
    coz i want this feeling of wholeness that you now have....