Drinking Alcohol taught me how to fly
Then it took away the sky....

Friday, January 13, 2012



A disciple came riding on his camel to the tent of his Sufi Master. He dismounted and walked right into the tent, bowed low and said, “So great is my trust in God that I have left my camel outside, untied, convinced that God protects the interests of those who love Him.”

Go tie your camel, you fool!” said the Master. “God cannot be bothered doing for you what you are perfectly capable of doing for yourself.”

--De Mello, “Taking Flight” page 100...

And so...here I be—
in silence, effortless.
At long last to 'see'
some of these things.

Alone, in darkness,
atop tall tower
gazing at my past,
...to jump now or
cravenly cower?

thousands times I
stopped the drinking,
drugging, mugging,
chaos and strife-

each time right back
to same old life:
one after other,
children, sisters, wife,
mother, father, brother.

After years fighting
and tears, fears,

God intervened
so it seemed.
Brought me
and my monkey
to Alcoholics Anonymous.

Now thirty-seven years
without one drop...
for me all done
what I could not:

Powerful, wondrous power!!!
To this I attest:
my disease, in arrest.
Present life...the best!


My last drink March 18, 1974
Shirt size: Smaller. (Monkey
finally got off my back!)


  1. glad that shirt size is smaller now...smiles...you have quite the testimony brother...

  2. BRIAN!
    Don't know how you DO it. In fact, I don't care, because you DO IT SO WELL! Spreading your cheerful comments over the Universe, and your writing over the D'VERSE!

  3. This is another one of your best pieces, peep!
    Just love it
    SO glad you are way on the right path, despite the distractions...

    Another day is gone, another day you've grown wiser.

    Hugs and peace to you my dear Steve


  4. cute monkey imagery, enjoyed it.


  5. Thirty-seven years. And each day a gift. Wonderful! You are truly a joy to behold, Maestro. And monkeyless, which is good because monkeys do not make good fashion accessories. Happiest of New Years to you, my friend! May it be filled with wonder and blessings.


  6. Happy you found your peace! Great job :)

  7. Taught in early sobriety: 'gOd doesn't wash windows.'

    Man you're own rudder.

    Tie your own camel.

    Love it :-)

  8. Awesome post, Steve. But listen up. God would not want you to underestimate the strength you have within, and what YOU did to build that first moment of "No!" into 37 years. Be grateful, yes, but also be proud.

  9. Thank you, Steveroni, for testifying that the beast can be chained and for all the grins you throw around on blogs like mine.

  10. I just heard someone else present this gift last night (I think it was something about God not tying his shoelaces cause he was perfectly capable) :)

    Monkeys :)

  11. A monkey-or two-
    Been reading about "impatience
    and irritation" -I have quite a bit
    of it around me; when " I feel" I am not moving :fast and efficiently enough! ( sometimes it is h.a.l.t.)
    the need to do a task 'smoothly and efficiently' another Expectation.
    so demands and expectations---or "too much to do"! --GRIN

  12. IZDIHER!
    You say in two words what it takes me two hundred. Thank you for a very sufficient, supporting comment!

    You know, I don't think much about those 'grins'. They just happen when I am really grinning!--grin!

    OK, Patti, that "power within" to which you refer I'll agree to--but it IS not my power, because over some (many) things, I AM POWERLESS! "...But there is One Who has all power. God! May you (and me, and all) find Him now!" SEE YOU SOON! PEACE!

    Yes, yes! And I just made this one up--so 'proud' because I NEVER coin original phrases: "Blow your NOSE...not your HORN!" NOTE: I do NOT mean you, dear K...but you knew that!
    PEACE (with a little love.)

    You are Soooo appreciated, Ayala. I also love these blogs...opportunities to share our lives and thoughts.
    You are so 'regular' with your own dedication and posting, you make me ashamed.
    PEACE, woman!

  13. IZZY!
    For some reason, God has not removed intolerance from my list of “things-I don't-want-any-more!” Maybe it's like “God won't play your violin...so PRACTICE! Well, to be tolerant and patient takes practice for me.
    THIS IS TRUE: When in a long line at market, and Peeps around me are “restless, irritable, and discontent”, I tell them (and me!) that “We now are given this opportunity to practice patience and tolerance”, and I 'mean' it. How frequently attitudes are changed (MOST OF THE TIME—grin!) and everyone starts talking and sharing their day/lives with each other.
    ****NOT pointing finger at you, just “shayerringg!” PEACE!

    Sometimes monkeys are my reminder to think about a situation: “Just how important IS it?” Also, monkeys bring me back to “WE ABSOLUTELY INSIST ON ENJOYING LIFE” (But I still don't like any on my back—grinning! PEACE!

  14. BELLA!
    Oh, it SO good to see you, Dear! My ALL-TIME painting, drawing, illo, I mean ALL TIME viewable (other then nature) is that piece of you and Ces sitting on a wall, each saying “Pfttt” or something like that! I go back often to see that—it gives life greater meaning, believe me!
    Thanks for your visit here—I am truly honored—No BS!
    Love and PEACE!

    Thanks. I've been to your place...decided to follow. There's just TOO MANY TERRIFIC places to 'follow' on these blogs. But I will be lurking over there. YOU are a different species. (Meant as a compliment, OK?--grin!)

    (Ooops!, I meant “SWEETER”!) Your compliments are just 'too much'. However I like them—grin! Guess that old Ego(centric?) will NEVER go away. Thank you for coming by—and the charming comment!
    Love and PEACE.

  15. Steve,
    This poem and poet goes straight to my heart....and though I have 'risen' above some nasty things in my life, I do know that "God isn't finished with me yet".

    I am definitely a work in progress..and IF He was finished with me...I would find more 'stuff' to mutilate. LOL!

    The strength of yourself, dear, dear man....is the clay of your present state: God just was the Light you walked in, baking it.

    Blessings of ALL kinds and religions on your humble head.

    Am reading Meister Eckhart (14th century theologian who was very much part of was we today call Creation Spirituality...and he was so Zen-like in his writings.

    Imagine! a 14th Century German scholar and theologian. Amazing stuff the world has flowing through the hearts, souls and airstream of the World!

    You are tapped into this marvelous movement, Steve, whether you know it or not....your creativity flows and is encouraged by this, too.


    Lady Nyo

  16. Oh, I meant to say something here....reading the bottom of your page: "Written in Attitude of Gratitude"...

    Meister Eckhart said:

    "To be Thankful is enough".

    I believe this. Applies to Nature and God for me.

    Lady Nyo

  17. LADY NYO!
    You shower blessing on me. Thank you.
    But dontcha know, you are really in the center of this rain...I've read your stuff. It is so easy to bless one another--since we are like-thinking.

    I'm gonna try tomorrow to bless someone I HATE. But therein lies the problem. I even love drivers who slip in front of my scooter--gives me a chance to slow down--grin! SUDDENLY!

    NOTE: There are plenty Peeps I do not like--I'll pick one of them, or maybe ALL of them?

    Thank you again for responses. You are indeed a PEEP!

  18. Steve, I find this hardest to do. To forgive. I think this is a great, perhaps the greatest challenge for all of us.

    To still the internal argument with others before they even offend...

    We aren't saints, and after I have read something of them, they don't sound human. But we are...and we are so full of shortcomings...which make us human.

    I have been battered by family fundamentalists for the past week. They have no real connection to compassion, but that doesn't mean that we can't. Perhaps I will....tomorrow...like you....attempt to forgive them.

    It will be hard because I know their opportunism...it's been a factor in my own struggle NOT to go away from God.

    And that is the thing: when we put our intellectualism in front of our struggle (and it is a struggle) to "let go and let God"...when we are more angry at the fundamentalists than we are in love with God...

    Well, it has taken up too much of our precious energy. I need to forgive them and move away from their 'influence'.

    I love your quote you wrote for my blog about Jesus. That is something today I have been mulling over all day.

    Thank you, dear friend.


    Lady Nyo

  19. So true on what God won't do...it will be my thought for the week. So thankful for all the things God will do. Blessings to you, my friend.

  20. LADY!
    I don't read much of anything except blogs--grin! but of the saints' lives I HAVE read, they--each one--seemed QUITE human, (so-called REAL sinners! Some of the bios are, well, very revealing of their concupiscence, until they made the great change in their lives. Try St Augustine...WOW!

    It is to show us we have NEVER gone so far down that we are hopeless. That's the message I've gotten.

    Something like...the farther down an alcoholic has fallen, the more hopeless she/he has become, the more likely a chance of success. We got nowhere else to go when we in the basement!

    Just my 2 centavos!

    Oh, I was hoping you would weigh in here, that you would read. Thank you!

    I might wish to correct that "God "won't" to "God doesn't have to"--but I believe our cooperation DOES help to live a succesfully happy life. WWW = "What a Wonderful World"!

  21. You got rid of the monkey by your own hands.

    Though I see many of them still wandering at my place, Cerok Tokun.

  22. I have to come back and read this. I just wanted to say Happy New Year to you my friend!!!

  23. Congratulations on getting the monkey off ur back- :)
    The happiness- well-deserved.