Drinking Alcohol taught me how to fly
Then it took away the sky....

Thursday, October 27, 2011


(Edited from first publishing September 2009)

WARNING!! This re-post concerns
 prayer, meditation and God--



I recall in grade one, Sister Rose Gertrude --when all else would fail--shouted (her whole four feet of body shaking) "SILENCE!"  And boy, would we get quiet.  A pin dropping sounded like baseball bouncing on floor.

In the small country church, at certain times during mass, quiet was so quiet, it was LOUD.  But quiet lent itself to momentary feelings of peace, serenity.  I remember counting my heartbeats, because I could hear them, in the silence.
Early in sobriety, a man told me when I 'talk' to God, to be quiet, and know that He is God, not me.   This was my first inkling how to 'implement' meditation and prayer, how to start.  I realized then, that quietness had to be a part of it.
I have seen people praying agitatedly, gripping their hands together, and with furrowed, sweaty brow, trying to 'decode' God, and that may be good for some Peeps. 

My praying has evolved into a more meditative mode.  I sometimes simply desire to be with God, just be there, and enjoy the moments. (After all, God knows what I need and/or want--grin!)

NOTE: I believe there is no 'right' nor 'wrong' way to pray, Okay?!! My OWN opinion continues:
Meditation is union with God.  If I am upset, making plans, counting minutes or rosary beads while wishing I were somewhere else, it is very difficult to form that Oneness.  
One word can start me off—Silence! Being quiet is a beginning of meditation.  Each event, the beginning of a new life.  

In August 2009 a 3,000-mile 17-day scooter ride to Virginia was for me a life-changing event. That experience allows me to look now at the universe in a totally new way.
My beliefs may change over time. They will not alter this fact: my whole self felt then and now-- different. A new person inhabits this skeleton.  A few Peeps might might scoff, but I know what I know.
My gratitude-of-the-moment was and is for people God arranged for me to meet during my ride.  Several taught me valuable lessons, by baring their souls to me, a stranger. Others, caring and sharing, were at church celebrations, AA meetings. Still others were those random meetings of strangers in the night! And how wonderful are those chance encounters,  spiritual moments happening with open sharing of our disease--humanness.

editation goes beyond limitation of words and thoughts.  In early schooling I was told Who God is. I had been given an image of God.  But none of that is as I now imagine.  I make no attempt in word or thought to visualize God.

Hundreds of years ago a mystic wrote in The Cloud of Unknowing,  "You want to know God? There is only one way of knowing Him:  By unknowing."  I must get beyond my mind and thought. Only then am I able to perceive Him with my heart.
And in noiseless moments, stillness, quiet, silence, I can "know God", at first vaguely, then more and more clearly as time endures. I can live in Him and He in me.  

Wake up now, Steve! There are some roses to smell...

Peeps?..............oh, THERE you are!

Posted by steveroni
September 16, 2009



  1. these are some great thoughts on prayer and meditation...i think silence is important...for me it is as much about listening as it is speaking...for sure...

  2. The Qur'an says this about God, and so I never tried to imagine God, and every portrayal of God, I know is not.

    In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

    Say, "He is God, One".
    "God, the Eternal, Absolute".
    "He begets not, nor is He begotten".
    "And there is none like Him".

  3. Your trip seems like it was ages ago. Oh, how we all have changed in that time!

    SILENCE!! (I had the nuns, too ;)

  4. "My praying has evolved into a more meditative mode. I sometimes simply desire to be with God, just be there, and enjoy the moments. (After all, God knows what I need and/or want--grin!)"
    This is my mode of prayer to a "t". :)

  5. BRIAN:

    That is what I call TRUTH, girl. Thank you!
    I'm glad you visit here.

    We had 'known' one another 1 year
    —and that was about 3 years ago?
    Not sure.
    About that change?
    AM sure!!!!--grin!
    Bless you.

    You took the words right out of my mouth, Man!

    OHH! I just felt a 'connection' reading your comment.
    Like a bit of electricity! (I cannot explain THAT, either!)

  6. For me as well, silence is the key. Great and profound thoughts, dear Steve. Thanks.

    Joy always,

  7. This is very informative post .Lots of voices in side my head ,and I want to mute then for sec to be in peace and make some sense about lot of tings .

    Great post :).

  8. Ah yes, only God can make a tree, and how magnificently and beautifully does God make them! Thank you for your kind words, Steve!

  9. Another deep beautiful meandering of my dear Peep!
    Hey This is such a lesson of peace and calmnesss (not quite the same...)
    My concept of God changes daily. One thing I've learnt is that I cannot expect him to be outside... but everywhere inside which is everywhere outside too...


    Yep! Silence...and I still must learn what that really means, as in: "Shut My Mouth!"

    Izdiher Jan:
    Thank you for being here. Wish I knew how to mute those 'head-voices' also. I understand using a mantra helps (and it has helped me, BTW!)

    But an empty brain SHOULD be a simple matter for a brainless idiot like meeeee! (It ain't!)

    Oh! You DID get over here, busy as you are. I'm taking an intermission from blogging (but will read...maybe even 'comment' (HA!), so will see you maybe on Face Book!

    The harder I've "tried" to conjure a "concept" of God, the more I've failed. That meditation stuff seems to work best, just let the ideas float in and out (as you suggest?) and realize He is everywhere. That might solve the concept thing.

    Then: On a 'good' day--grin!, I just wish to "be" with Him, without the sweat, strain and stress. That works, then goes away (sigh!). Thank you for coming by.

  11. The sound of silence, just beautiful.
    Where is God?
    1 King 19:11
    "Go out and stand before me on top of the mountain, the Lord said to him. Then the Lord passed by and sent a furious wind that split the hills and shattered the rocks—but the Lord was not in the wind. The wind stopped blowing, and then there was an earthquake—but the Lord was not in the earthquake.12 After the earthquake there was a fire—but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the soft whisper of a voice."
    To hear that soft whisper, there's got to be inner and outer silence.
    Maybe that's we're making such turbulence all around the clock. We want to shut that soft voice out.

    Enjoy your sabbatical.Enjoy love and life at its full with all senses open wide.

  12. Beautiful, Steve. I like the quiet. It allows me to think and write. Not deafening at all, especially with a dog snoring on the floor.

  13. Love that acorn. I also understand (at heart level) the words you write.

    Stillness and silence, contemplative reading to get me there, sometimes just pure discipline through all the "trying" and sometimes, in the attempts over and over to "try" to do it right... sometimes I just sit and find myself in the sweet spot filled with the spirit, and rejoice! :)

  14. FELISOL:
    Listening for that 'soft voice. Thank you, Ma'am. A WHOLE LOT!

    Dog snoring on the floor nearby could be used as a mantra.

    Yes...Agreed, some words are not for defining, dissecting, or thinking too hard about. It is at 'heart level' we can understand more—more is sometimes less?

    That sweet spot! Yep, THAT'S the place to hang on to. Too often it evaporates.

  15. Steve ... oh ... I come from the silence, I was a week "on the mountain" to in the silence - getting closer to God
    ... I assumed responsibility for a difficult task in an Internet portal and I need God's help ...

    Now I have just read your post ... thank you! ... that was an answer for me ...
    ... but I will not have time to exchange more for the bloggers ... sorry ... It was an enriching experience for me ...
    thanks for all the good thoughts and words.
    Steve, I feel that He dwells in you ... you are a blessing for the peeps here ...
    God bless you and your family ...

  16. COSIMA:
    I guess God dwells somewhere in the depths of me...He CAN write straight with a crooked pen, you know! I believe He uses all of us to 'speak' His words to others of us. It does NOT make us saints--grin!!!
    Love, girl. And PEACE!

  17. I drove to work this am with Krishna Das chanting on my CD player. I was starting to project nastiness into my day so, instead I started singing a prayer , naming people (including me) who I wanted to have a good day. Krishna chanting, me echoing along with my own words.

  18. That must have neen an awesome adventure. It's amazing what a difference silence can make. I really like "unknowing God." I went to Catholic schools and had a different belief in God than I do now. Today my God is love.