Drinking Alcohol taught me how to fly
Then it took away the sky....

Friday, September 14, 2012

55 words: LONG AGO AND FAR AWAY

A STORY


Early in life I overheard my father telling someone that he never bothered to talk to me about sex. He said, "Steve will learn that observing farm animals."

I thought women laid eggs, then sat on them until they hatched. My third wife told me that was not true

I was 36 years old.


--grin!
steveroni

Please swing by the G-Man and leave your
"whatever-in-55-words". Then read a few
of the Peeps' offerings there. It's FUN!

31 comments:

  1. I bet your father assumed you'd observe more than the chickens. What a difference one word can make.

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    1. Jess (shhhhh! Nobody listening?) Seeing animals do their thing used to make me h*r*y at age 5-6...and NO! I never did THAT!!!!
      LOVE your house (and office--grin!) and the YARD! I spent a little meditation time out back, the trees, grass, fence, the puppies! Sooooo nice!
      Thank you again
      PEACE!

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  2. your third wife...lol....boy you were missing out on some of the good things of life...just saying...smiles....

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    1. Actually, Brian, I exaggerated a bit. It was my 3rd girl friend, and I was age SIX! (But I wanted my story to be unusual--like yours!) But 'factual'! yesssss...FACTUAL!

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  3. hell no! i cannot believe this.... *smiles*

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  4. That was a naive 36-year old.

    And I can rarely this species on the Earth.

    But I love thinking woman to lay eggs. That's fascinating.

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  5. I am laughing so hard my coffee is dribbling down my chin. You never fail to bring me up, dear Steve. Love your 55.

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  6. Oh my...took three wives to figure that out? Someone was having fun at your expense. Don't want to think too much about farms animals being the examples set.
    Happy Friday!

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  7. Love this!!! Obviously you needed access to the whole farm!

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  8. Maestro!!!!
    Well Well Well, the prodigal virtuoso returns to the flock!
    Missed you Stevorino
    Loved your barn-yard 55 My Friend
    Thanks for playing, thanks for remembering ole G-Man,
    and have a Kick Ass Week-End

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  9. Haha! Love it- my hubby used to tell kids: to go collect the goat eggs and help me milk the chickens! Thanks!

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  10. Omg...hahhhahahahahhahahha...Father was so wrong huh?? I love your funny yet realistic 55! oh, the things that I was told and taught when I was younger! "Unfortunately", my kids are too smart for all that. GRrrrrrrrrrrrrr.Mine is here
    Have you an AWESOME WEEKEND!
    hugs
    shakira

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  11. hehehe! That is so funny :D . Reminded me of a couple here who thought that sex was performed via woman's navel :D

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  12. Funny and informative, I've learned something today.............. Eggs will never quite seem the same again!:)

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  13. Fun-ny!!

    Lets stay sober today, shall we?

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  14. Thank you SOooo much, Peeps, for reading and commenting. To realize there are 14 of my favorite Peeps who stopped by here--AND LIKED WHAT THEY READ--well, it boggles my mind!

    From my whole ♥ comes my thanks, eith
    PEACE for you all!

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  15. see...i'm 44 now and no one ever told me that women don't lay eggs...i always thought there's something wrong with me...smiles...hey...glad you like my new pic..was sweating a bit..hoped you would...smiles

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  16. Ha ha ha. I guess I can get up now...

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  17. you didn't cross that line..just saying...smiles

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  18. ha ha. Thanks for the laugh. I once asked my cousin (we were around 5?) after he had peed in a bush what "that" was. He said "I don't know". I was older and said with confidence "Don't worry, it will go away when you are older". :P

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    1. HAHAHAHAHA!
      I NEEDED that laugh tonight (morning!). Thank you. I'm goin to bed, but will look you up tomorrow, Margaret, to say thanks on your blog.
      PEACE!

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  19. Ha! Good story. I love it! Having grown up on a farm I appreciate it. My grandpa would never let us kids watch calves being born. Isn't that crazy? I'm glad you finally figured out the egg thing.

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  20. Looks like you made it 8 days without blogging this time. Not bad......for you.... my blogger-happy husband. :)
    Actually - having experienced the truth of giving birth I think I would prefer sitting on an egg till it hatched.

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  21. huge grin :D visiting your page for the first time and I think I am hooked :-)

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  22. jajajajaja so naiveeeeee, children nowadays know more than us! sadly... xD

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  23. ha ha. You beat me!!! When I was 15, I thought kissing can make you pregnant and so I never kissed any of my boy-friends!

    Ha ha. Still recovering.

    Joy always,
    Susan

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    1. Susan deborah!!!

      Recover ALWAYS, my friend!--grin!
      Recovering--in this sense--is a lifelong pursuit.
      Love and Peace, Susan!

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  24. Hey just read you short note on raising steers! Cool! the closest I ever came to staying over at a fair; was when we took my Nubian/ Cashmere crosses to our small
    Hill town fair! I kind of set up a petting zoo for people- cause kids kept asking "What kind of Dogs are those?" Sad but true...

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    1. Izzy, I'm sitting here smiling at one of my earliest "GOOD" memories. The County FAIR! Hamilton County...Cincinnati, Ohio. It lasted then about five days. IMAGINE 4th grade, and OUT OF SCHOOL for four days. OH! HEAVEN is thus--grin!

      And of course, ran into a girl who had a steer. She was from a BIG Hereford Farm. FOUR DAYS! It was the longest time I've ever been "in love".

      Some kids thought that everything they saw with four legs was the ENEMY!

      Bye, my friend! And THANKS...and PEACE!

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