“How are you?”
“Fine!”
This common greeting between friends and/or acquaintances has lost its true meaning. Who is going to answer “How are you?”...with “Oh! I'm full of fear, and low self-esteem.”
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| ARE YOU HAPPY? |
OK. Early yesterday I met someone I do not see regularly at the meetings. I asked, “How have you been?” She responded, “Fine!” Then she looked at me and asked, “Are you HAPPY?” As I immediately answered, “YESSS!”...I felt, somewhat wrongly, that an invasion had just taken place.
We settled into an “Are you happy?” conversation (she IS!) and I decided there and then to experiment with my newly-discovered greeting.
All day, whoever I met (ran into), friends AND strangers were jolted by my “Are you HAPPY?” I report that only ONE Peep said, “None of your Gd damned business!” However, he DID answer the question, right?--grin! (Turned out he was just 'being a smart-ass'.)
ALL day long I enjoyed thoroughly my experiment which already—for me—my new “How are you?” Out of possibly 100 Peeps (I see lots of Peeps daily!) around 15 answered with words like “marginal”, or just plain “No!” ...So 84% responded in the affirmative!
I also found that a flowing conversation became a common and direct result of asking, “Are you HAPPY??” Even Peeps who were obviously not so 'happy', were lifted up a notch in their 'happiness quotient' simply as a result of talking—which in the 'old' way, our conversation might well have ended SOON after the word, “Fine.”
Later, last night at the 'cookie' meeting I overheard the 'greeter' asking someone, “Are you HAPPY!” As I fell asleep later, I was still smiling at that one.
If any Peep who reads this decides to try it, kindly let me know in a comment how it went.
Naturally, if I am in 'isolation' mode, I won't be prone to asking, “Are you HAPPY?” But if I force myself to ask it ONE TIME, I will be out of my selfness, and maybe into helping another—and myself. How 'bout that?
Signing off as:
steveroni...or...
“happy-roni”
ha. love your little experiment Steve...might give it a try...the benefit for me would be the great convos that followed...
ReplyDeleteWonderful idea! Thanks for the inspiration...and you are my first comment on my ipad! Hope it looks ok?xo
ReplyDeleteNoooooooooooooo!!! I don't want to ask anyone. I already am inundated by people telling me all their secret and confidential issues, I feel like a therapist!!! I just want to mind my own business, really. Just smile or nod, no asking. If I open my mouth, someone hears my voice and then BAM!!! in 5 minutes they tell me about their disease condition, their problem with their wives, mothers, husbands; their complaints about their bosses..UGH! All I did was say "hello". The other day, two people came into my office separately and cried while they told me about their fears. Seeeeeeeeee??? NOOOOOOOOO. I do not want to talk to anyone.
ReplyDeleteBTW, you leave the most tender, gentle and funny comments. Thank you!
Thanks for passing this on. I think I will play today. I know it will make me happy.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I will ask as it is really none of my business. It is my business to see to my own happiness though. And today I feel good.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful assignment! I will give it a whirl & report back
ReplyDeleteI like your experiment. I can just see you asking people this, too!
ReplyDeleteBRIAN MILLER:
ReplyDeleteYes, the conversations I experienced were hardly longer then the "I'm Fine" ones, except there is more a feeling of the "WE" of the program. Not ME. WE!
LINDA:
Honored to be 'first' ANYWHERE! But on your iPad? WOW! Thanks for your comment and willingness to try. It is NO LONGER an experiment with me, it's a "work-in-progress" as you artists say!
CES: Given your schedule, I can readily understand a reluctance to further lengthen your 30-hour day. How DO you do it? I'm serious. You should be one day in some Hall-of-Fame. Also World-Class museums! (Never knew what exactly "world-class" means--grin!)
MONKEY MAN:
Good for you--play along, it cannot hurt ANYONE! Might help!
SYD:
Glad you are happy--and I didn't even have to ask. Only one Peep said it was none of my business. And he may be right. Also...YOU may be right!
PEACE!
JEREMY:
Please man, ask your sponsor before accepting MY suggestions. Whatever they may be. I say this to you in kindness and love...we are ALL pulling/praying for you, Sir! Thanks for commenting.
KRISTIN:
Yup, I KNEW you could 'see' this happening. And I AM enjoying it, as did 99% of those I shared with. Went to FOUR meetings yesterday, so saw LOADS of Peeps!
Have not been out today yet, but soon, soon!
Love and PEACE, friend!
What a great way to ask people, since FINE does and can mean something different in AA and AL Anon...asking the happy question makes us really have to think about what is being asked...I love it...and I love that people seemed to be honest with it...
ReplyDeletexo Gabi
By asking the question, one needs to be ready for the consequences. I think this question carries grave responsibilities. I think it's a good question though. I'll try and see how I do because I think the asker is the one needing to do the work. I'm happy...you happy?
ReplyDeleteGABRIELLA MOONLIGHT:
ReplyDeleteGABEEEE! Yup, this was/is a fun thing for me...however, from here on, I'll limit this thing to Peeps I know...or acquaintances. GIRL, isn't 'life' F U N ?????
PEACE!
MAGPIE:
Thanks for your input. I had not thought (usual, for me!) too much about the consequences, if any--nor those grave responsibilities. In fact, so far, the conversation seemed to flow just nicely, especially when TWO are happy.
Ya know, it just occurred to me, I don't run around with too many UNHAPPY Peeps! Anyway, for now, I'm staying positive on this, rather than...YOU know--grin!
Thanks for commenting, Mag--
This is exactly how we greet people here in my part of country .We ask -- hanhi bhale assa ? meaning ,are you happy .
ReplyDeleteHave a happy weekend Steve:)
KAVITA:
ReplyDeleteYou have no idea how 'happy' I am for your comment--I was beginning to believe the two negative comment(s). But you verified, gave credence to my new way to greet Peeps. Deep down I KNEW it to be correct, and my experimenting proved, but even so--when there is disagreement, I have to stand back. (Will ponder this no longer, simply DO what I know is right. Thank you, thank you.)
LOVE and PEACE, Kavita! You have "made my day"!!!
Neither of us need ask "Are you happy?" because I know you are, and so am I. Live well, my friend
A HAPPYRONI YOU ARE!!! HMMM?
ReplyDeletelucky you, and those who come up to you ... never by chance- I am sure...
SAying 'How are you?'! much like saying just hello'!...
but it so much involves if the one asked said how they really felt! and the one who asks had better not if the answer is really and honestly being... how we feel!
Happironi... you sweet happy peep... thanks for this post... BTW ---I am fine !
Thanks for asking!!!
:-))))
As my dear uncle likes to say, happiness is a choice. Happy Trails, my friend!
ReplyDeleteI understand Ces's reluctance. I am often shocked at the extremely personal things relative strangers tell me. Still, I'm intrigued, so I may give it a try. If I can brace myself for the result!
ReplyDeleteDULCE:
ReplyDelete"I am fine." You wrote. HAHAHA! You should say, I am HAPPY! Thank you for your nice comment. How about a 'happy' blog post?
Regarding your post: I ate almost a half gallon of Butter Pecan Ice Cream last night.
Inane
Insane...
TESS KINCAID:
And I choose--YESSSSS! Happy! In fact, I choose JOY!
PATTIKEN:
I believe not every personality is suited to ask Peeps "Are you HAPPY?" So, for a woman, I'd say, tread lightly. OK? Thanks for reading and commenting, though. I'm enjoying your posts!
I really *LOVE* your blog, Stev~e~roni! It 'oozes' of personality so now I've decided to stalk (uh, follow you) :D Congratulations on the progress you've achieved ~ I've enjoyed my visit & I also want to thank you for visiting my 'pad' and leaving a nice comment :) So much here to enjoy starting with the awesome graphic at the 'door' AND that quotation! Love it and it really is true. I must save it in my quotes file. Have a wonderful day! Fion~a~roni :D
ReplyDelete