LADY IN GREEN

Thursday...

IT had been said of her

by those who had seen--

stay away from, steer clear

of lady draped in green.

In line, we; in front, she

--just another civilian who

stood there--vexed,

waiting to hear magic word,

"NEXT!"

Drug dealer (Walgreen pharmacist!)

finger-beckoned her

100 pounds of weighted bone,

four-feet-four tall, obvious narcissist

Floor-tiles shined where she walked,

all eyes tried to look away...

she and drug guy talked...talked

(this client will "make his day".)

"...but my insurance should cover..."

"Not quite, Ma'am, there's 21¢ left over."

"But--but that's not correct, it is..."

She'd fought for right until noon,

when an argument ensued

which was not to end soon.

Finally she said, "Screw YOU, Dude!"

Drug man yelled, "NEXT!"

(called ME???)

Lady did not budge.

I pretended to text...

tried not to judge--grin!

with no sorrow I left, 

said, "Be back tomorrow".

Friday...

11 AM, entered, 
advanced to

front-and-center

Walgreen Drugs--

(do I now LIVE here?)

Into the queue I leaned,

hoping not to be seen

by any in front of me...

whence splash of green?

Oh No! Oh No! Oh No!

And I had to remind

myself, be kind.

Love one another.

PEACE...LIGHT.

YEAH...RIGHT.

--Steve Elsaesser/steveroni

♥

Story is  true. 
Two cloudy days
made people blue.
HELLO SUNSHINE!

TRUE HAPPINESS

"Oh, you have made me SO happy!"

"I am happy only when we are together!"

"If you leave me, I'll never be happy again!"
 

"(cough, cough, spit)...we've kept each other happy for 57 years, 102 days, 16 hours, 31 minutes..."!
 

Etcetera, Etcetera, Etcetera...

______________________________________________

Hmmmmm. I posted the following in the past, and it still ringing in my head. I am every day so VERY happy, but nearly always it is the result of sayings or happenings of someone or something else. When my happiness is inside me, inside my heart, inside my soul, and for only this reason:  "Just because"...then--then may I smile truly in the Universe, and answer honestly the question "How are you"? with this response:
"H A P P Y !!!"--grin!

"True happiness is caused by nothing. True happiness is causeless. When something or some Peep causes my happiness, I will become possessive of that thing or Peep. I will become anxious, lest I lose it. 

"If I ask the mystic why he or she is happy, the answer will be, ‘why not?’"

"Nothing will ever upset me. No one shall ever hurt me." (Peep must not be human!)
 

YEAH...RIGHT--grin! I keep trying and growing!

--From thoughts of Anthony De Mello.

Thank you to MANY Peeps who really know what I'm writing about here. Loving you all. PEACE!
--Steve E (aka "happy-roni")

A SPIRITUAL RAMBLE

THE STEPS

 Yesss, it is still me

so busy bee,

being here--or there

certainly somewhere.

Too often, too busy.

Continuous quarrel within:

is this--or that--sin?

Do I live under

my cafeteria

of criteria,

rather than suffer 

in deliria?

Put it to rest with a "grin"... 

"busy" waits. However,

"hovering" sometimes 
owns my soul, brain,

Pride and Ego remain (HA!)

I've learned--
and sometimes forgot,

this program for recovery

is not a plot...but 

a "new way of life"  

 Must remember:

in my veins--sap,

not blood. but

liquid-like 
spiritual strength

passed from God 

through you Friends.

OH! My Peeps!

Needing you now:

nurturing kindnesses

to heal heart-scars;

suturing experiences for 

sewing soul's open wounds.

So busy!

Being there and here,

everywhere...is it why

--except for this moment--

I be happy, free, 
joyfully SOBER?

It always happens in October (true!)

that memory-bytes return to tell me

I should not be allowed to enjoy this 

freedom from chaos, fear. 

Oh God...please heal

my SELFishNESS. 

No wish to isolate

nor again hibernate.

Let me be busy

but not so busy

that I do not recognize 

Your Presence in 
my Peeps.

Knowing nothing,

believing anything, 

I ask You God, to lift 

small corner of the 

curtain of my unknowing.

LOVE and PEACE!

 --Steve E  (aka steveroni) 

  

Posted with only  

14 minutes to go

to dVerse Poets Pub

MADE THE DEADLINE!!

  
 Google Images

1939--A GOOD YEAR!

AGE SIX
 During my childhood it was a tradition
that the children (especially sons) 
in a Jewish family had to play the violin.
 And without question, 
excellence was expected...

The year: Nineteen Hundred 

and Thirty-Nine.

Dear mother of mine

heard the word--and

Every Jewish Mother's son

knew he was a 'chosen one'.

Requirement: I learn to play

(no matter what I might say)

 horse-hair-cat-gut, mortal-sin

apparatus called a violin.

SCREEEECH!

And so, as a gift I received

piles of dust, out of dusty piles.

From attic Grandpa retrieved:

you guessed it, a filthy old viol

no hair--no gut. Dried glue did

not hold it together, but rubber

bands did the trick--one slick

instrument repair

TEEEEECH!

Grandpa was not Jewish, you see...

neither was my mother. Nor me.

But everything is OK in the end.

I play violin, celebrate with friends

Rosh Hashanah, Chanukah, EID(!),

Pentecost and the Feast of Stephen.

PRAKTISSSSS!

At an age when greatest of stars

in sports are 'over-the-hill'

I play violin, near and so far

and keep getting better still.

Has nothing to do with the fact

I can no longer hear the trill

SPEEEECH!

But this I say to you, my Peeps

an 'attitude of gratitude' keeps

me happy, joyous and free 

long as God will let me BE.

Blessings.

Love you.

PEEEEEEACE!

--Steve E  (aka steveroni)

PS. To "You know who you are"

I   L O V E  my

Liberty University

security blankee!

Thankee.

FLEXIBLE

"...'Cause I'm Leavin'...on a Jet plane

Don't know when I'll be back again..."

Itinerary will change daily

on nothing but

slim

whim-eroni...

Well...when I set out

riding super-scooter 'Flex', it

feels like a Jet takeoff

no shifting gear                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Just one looong swooOOOSHHHHH!

--and I'm outta here,

or there,

or anywhere!

Annual trudge, it is time!

Begin Tuesday AM at nine

--I ride for PEACE, Peeps.

Need no gold                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         it's only riding keeps

me less old

My dreams shall

need no money to 'see'

under faraway tree

my Honey, without me

reclining, lying--

sweetly sighing

here, there, 

everywhere

...and some call me insane

'cause I'm leavin'

like a Jet Plane...

don't know when

be back again.

NOTE:
(But probably between 2-3 weeks,

with aching back and butt...but

happily in PEACE with Universe

and you, my lovely Peeps!)

--steveroni

♥♥♥

In a Starbucks along the way, 

I'll post after 3 PM today

on and for dVerse POETS PUB

week # 56

HURRY? WORRY? WHO, ME?

Oh dontcha worry, worry me.

dontcha hurry, hurry me.

Who cares what time it is

when thee climate is

warm as the tropical seeeea..?

--1958 Movie "Windjammer"

NAPLES FREEDOM PARK--A VIETNAM MEMORIAL

MY FAVORITE RETREAT/MEDITATION SPOT --

Photo by Steve E

The truth was certain as morning light.

Girl was sharing her first days in sobriety.

So many worries,

so many hurries,

she thought never bright to ever see.

Just been fired

oh! so tired

uninspired

deeply mired in

low self-esteem....

Sponsor-Peep said, "Simmer down, Babe.

You needn't worry no more.

Give all your worrying over to

me, your sponsor, Lenore.

Stay sober Girl. Stop that head-whirl."

Following is a quote (no 'poeticizing'),

as in "She then told us..."

  

"So I went home, and my drunk boyfriend

asked me wasn't I worried with no job?

I told him, 'NO! Lenore is worrying about that!'"

Digestion:

It is sometimes this way with God and me.

Asking Him to take my problems for a day, or even

a few hours. I try to reverently, lovingly say aloud

His Sweet Holy Name over and over.

At once!--true, Peeps--I am gifted with semblances

of serenity, peace, then joy! When my body and mind

are settled, I take back my **issues** (hate that word!)

and in a different light they seem. 

Telling you this happens is easy. 

Challenge is for you to try it also. 

May not work for everyone. 

But isn't it better than wallowing in the mire?

--steveroni

Friday July 20, 2012

MY SEMIANNUAL RANT

                                  MY SEMIANNUAL RANT

Peeps, something is bothering me. For several days I've been  disturbed by what was happening to my blog, and no place I searched could help me.

You see, when writing for several years on my blog 'steveroni' about AA stuff, I used to have 40-60 visitors a day. A blog-friend created for me "The Fourth Dimension", about 18 months ago. More or less I slipped into writing--Well...pretending to write, but nevertheless enjoying--poetry. My daily traffic went to an average of 12 to 30 'hits' a day.

OK, the problem: SUDDENLY about a week ago, number of people clicking on my blog jumped from that 12-30 hits, to 60, 70, then 90+ a day. You know me, alcoholic-thinking (not drinking!) Steve. I figured people were simply enamored with my "flawless" poetic pronouncements--grinning and LOLing!

Well, yesterday I did a little investigating using a 'peep-counter' app named Site-Meter. It gives me information about what search words were used to find my blog. Lo and behold, 3 out of 5 visitors used search word(s) 'children' or 'images-children' and were directed right to a blog I posted June 8, titled "HAPPY CHILDREN". It is no more than a copied page from Kahlil Gibran's "PROPHET". Gibran makes so much sense to me--who, in the past, was an active drunk and very poor father. Three photos of 'happy' children are included at bottom of post.

Are you following where I'm going with this? When I realized who the "new" people (cannot call them by my favorite word 'Peeps') are, I almost puked: some, probably most of them predators, or gatherers of child porn. (See, I still judge people!)

I'm leaving the post up (it is linked above) until Friday night. if anybody wants to see what I considered a so pure, even spiritual post, click the link. Saturday morning I'll remove it, along with this rant. I am SO ANGRY--and that is NOT how I am--any more! Thank you for reading. Lesson is--for me--use Prudence when choosing a title. I sure did not set out to be a Satan messenger.

NOTE: I am NOT "Mr Clean" as you might guess (HA!)...and mud is mud. On the other hand, horse manure IS horse manure!

Said in haughty manner, nose turned up:
"I DO have my principles!" --grin!
PEACE! (sigh...)

steveroni

MY JEEP

 This poem is linked to dVersepoets Open Link Night, Week 35.
DVerse Poets Pub is a place where poets and writers gather to celebrate poetry.

In order to be filled

with happiness

a Jeep was all I asked.

Eternal gratitude for this gift

I promised.

Age 16, armed with

license to drive

and reasons galore

asking my father

I did over and o'er

implore

and more,

and begged until finally

assured, I knew a Jeep

was in my future.

The date of my birthday

arrived, all hired hands

and brethren inside for

farm breakfast. So I,

bounding into the room

Smiling, happy, sitting

at my place, I spotted a

1946 Willys Jeep CJ2A

under my cereal bowl

all of 1.5 inches in length.

Both tearing eyes and I

gathered remaining strength,

ran back through corn field,

asparagus patch, over fencing,

to apple orchard and beyond

into the woods, to favorite spot.

Rather die than not, I lay and wept.

Far below Ohio River rolling,

sent me peace,

kept me alive.

How wrong could I be

thinking I'd grown that day...

knowing a heart full of hatred

could not readily say

"Peace to all you Peeps"

Nope.

But since long ago

time faded memory of

that teen-life-horror.

Came over time

power to melt

this hardened heart.

God's Gift, a saving grace,

that I might live to steal

another sweetest day,

when I can now readily say,

with love so real...

"PEACE to all my Peeps!"

--steveroni

A DIMENSION OF MEDITATION

NOTE: This post will remain through the weekend--

just got too much on the plate, but I'll be visiting, Peeps. 

Thanks for clicking here. PEACE! Steve E

THE CLOUD OF UNKNOWING was

written by an anonymous

English monk more than

700 years ago

The following is an excerpt:

“...Our intense need to 'understand'

will always be a powerful

stumbling block to our attempts

to reach God in simple love,

and must always be overcome.

For if you do not overcome

this need to understand,

it will undermine your quest.

It will replace the darkness

which you have pierced to reach God--

with clear images of something which

however good,

however beautiful,

however Godlike,

is not God.”

"And so I urge you,

go after experience

rather than knowledge.

On account of pride,

knowledge may often

deceive you.

but this gentle,

loving affection

will not deceive you.

Knowledge tends to breed

conceit, but love builds.

Knowledge is full of labor,

love, full of rest.”

---The Cloud of Unknowing,

Anonymous, c.1375 

  Dear Peeps.

Meditation often begins with this reading

and leads to a 'so serene' place of peace

and a sense of just “being with”--in joy--

rather than using rigid words of another's

prayer...which sometimes seem

meaningless to me.

NOTE: The near-trance-like state happens only when I'm not trying to figure out “Who or What God is”. It lasts for only minutes, sometimes seconds. Invariably, a measure of 

happiness ensues.

--steveroni

Image top

Image bottom

in Deviant Art

THEY CAN DO IT! CANNOT WE?

WAS THAT SANTA UP ON THE ROOF?

PEACE ON EARTH! GOOD WILL TOWARDS ALL...

Why oh why?

Can we not settle 

our differences?

LET LOVE LIVE!

MERRY CHRISTMAS 

TO ALL US PEEPS!

(CatBurt and Lucky

make friends

while I's

Sitting at my desk

talking on 'smart-ass' phone...

I didn't even have to move!)

BUDDHA--A DIMENSION

"Monkey Talk" is the hundreds of thoughts 

my mind keeps chattering to me.
It keeps me from what is real

-or even what is not real.

YOUNG BUDDHA IN

MEDITATION

One of the most exciting adventures I have undertaken (and yes, there have been a few--grin!) began Monday January 31, 2011. Occasion was the first of a five-Monday series of two-hour sessions (classes) presenting an introduction to Buddhism. Presenter expected 18-20 people might show up. Two hundred got in line to register that first early Monday morning. Fortunately--hate standing in line--I had pre registered. At the end of class time, I am ready for two more hours.

CAVEAT

For the few who might happen by here and read this, some will no doubt say, "Steve does not know what he's talking about". And that is entirely correct. I do not fancy myself a teacher--unless you wish to learn the art of violin playing--grin! But my enthusiasm cannot be denied its voice about a topic I am loving. Buddha. I am embarking on a new voyage, same ship, new trip!

GET ON WITH IT

After two meetings I'm hooked, there is no more accurate word. From the start I sensed focusing would be my problem. According to what I've learned so far (in order to meditate) focus is 'out', an empty mind is 'in'. While practicing to meditate, I need a mantra, a word to repeat. A word which means absolutely nothing will be perfect...so if anyone has a suggestion, tell me please. You'd think I--of all Peeps--could easily conjure a "nothing" word, right?--grin! (Go on, think about it!)

A mantra is helpful to relieve my mind of everything, every thought, desire, sense, every constriction of place, time, and accouterments.

OM   MA   NI   PAD   ME   HUM   is a mantra I learned, pronunciation:
ohm mah nee pahd  may hoomng

Again..."Monkey Talk" refers to all those committees in the mind which go in a thousand directions, which must be hushed, for meditation needs a clear mind--more aptly, an 'empty' mind

There is so much more, but I must write what really amazed me thus far. Class #3, Monday, we will be introduced to Quantum Physics (simple form!), in order to better understand Buddha. 

IMAGINE! Two thousand-five-hundred years BC, there was no scientific knowledge as we claim today, yet the great thinkers--who did not know of protons, neutrons, electrons, quarks, etc., really DID know, in their special way of knowing--the enlightenment. 

They knew that everything--EVERYTHING--is connected, that our known 'world' (neighborhood?) is but a part of all else, unknown. How about that?

I have not blogged for several days, just cannot get away from this computer. I'm following every thread, every link concerning Buddha. From time to time I'll keep you posted, if anyone is interested in a 'beginner's' thoughts on this topic.

Our presenter claims he is not a teacher--but he IS--grin!  At one point he was describing what we will learn as we progress further than his 'classes', and I said to myself--even wrote in my notes--"Why, THIS is about my Alcoholics Anonymous Steps, six, seven, eight, nine and ten! How about THAT?"

Goodbye,
Good love,
Good PEACE!