DIMENSION SO DEEP

THIS may be a re-post: not certain. 

What I AM certain is that this may be 

THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT 

OF MY LIFE

Actually, this should be a category, with separate files spanning years, because I have experienced so MANY extraordinarily embarrassing events .  This following comes to mind tonight.  


During the years 1991-1995 I drove a van for Transportation Disadvantaged in Naples, Florida.  The company was called Community Transportation, or "CT".  

In my pocket I kept with me at all times a compact digital voice recorder for keeping notes to myself since I had so many "great"--Ha! thoughts during a work day, thoughts which would all but evaporate by the time I got home.  I had no time to stop and write notes to myself.

During one trip my load of passengers were retarded people coming home from work.  We had every day such a wonderful time of it, joking, laughing, and making fun of each other, how we talk, behave, etc. They loved it and I did also

I was so spiritually overcome with the happenings of the hour, I grabbed my handheld to record memories of the moment, and said some of--for me--the most beautiful expressions of faith and love.  

I spoke to relatives who had long been buried, I spoke to saints, to Mary, the Mother of God...and to Jesus.  I told them all of my gratitude, for the many gifts, in my life, especially that gift of sobriety.  I asked God to bless my handicapped passengers, my family, my fellow drivers, and my superiors at work.  And I praised our Lord for the peace, serenity and SOBRIETY He gave me, so that I might help those who still suffer from whatever illnesses.  And I made a promise to do better, to seek His will in all matters,  and asked for His help to carry out His work.  

As I reached to place the digital recorder back into my pocket, I felt 'IT'.  The recorder had been in my pocket the whole time. (Well, what am I holding in my hand, into WHAT had I been talking?)...N E X T : 

Earlier, I had inadvertently grabbed the company two-way radio microphone, and had been sending my ultra private thoughts out over the air!  EVERYTHING I'd said had been broadcast to the base office, overheard by the dispatcher, by my boss and all the office staff, and by ALL the drivers and ALL the passengers on ALL the buses that afternoon.

At the end of my shift, no one said a word about the incident.  Everyone behaved normally toward me, so that I got to thinking, well, maybe I had not pressed the transmitting button.  Maybe nobody heard a thing of my secret,  but verbal, soul-thinking.  Several days went by, and, you know, I was allowing myself to forget the whole episode.  

Then, one early morning drivers were doing our pre-trip inspections, and collecting our manifests for the day. One driver--one of the few who had always been friendly towards me--approached and said, "What the hell was that all about, the other day?  You were talking on the radio for a *long, long* time, and made no sense whatever. At least 50 employees, bosses, and the passengers of 14 buses all over town, were trying to catch every word."

Everyone has been wondering "...did the Oh!--SO-sober A.A. guy finally start drinking ? Were you hallucinating? On drugs--or WHAT?"
 
To this day I can bring up those spiritual minutes, then immediately re-feel the horrible discovery and shock of terror.

Guess I'll finish this off with...AMEN!


NOTE: Yesterday, 16 years after, a driver 'pushing' a concrete mixer asked me, "Do you remember that time...." So it became today's post in Fourth Dimension!