Another Day--Another Year

Ah! Another New Year's Eve...

then, 2012

It is a time for day-long Gratitude--

for the little things 

which are in reality  B I G  things.  

And for the big things, 

which tomorrow may appear as trivialities. 

First, I am grateful to the 

Creator of the Universe

for that Gift of Life

for all of Nature

and you and me...

Equally am I grateful to all

you Peeps who God uses

to speak to the rest of us...and me.

I've learned that no matter how far my mind wanders as I am praying, to not feel guilty, or that my praying is useless. Only God is capable of judging my prayer--or yours. So let us pray.

I've learned that:

"Every word, every image
used for God is a distortion
more than a description."

"Then how does one speak of God?"

"Through Silence."

"Why, then, do you speak in words?"

At that, the Master
laughed uproariously.
He said, "When I speak, you
mustn't listen to the words, my dear.
Listen to the Silence." 

--DeMello

I have learned that we in recovery 

must read our Big Book, 

and study the Steps, yes.

But more than that, to 'stay' sober:

I must DO the Steps, practice them,

and DO what I read in the Big Book!

My wish: that all who participate in 

these blogs in 2012, be 

as blessed by them as I.

PEACE!

FINALLY...THE GIFT

EVERY SECOND--CHANGES OCCUR 

Pages from my past,

an ethereal dream, 

the lost years 

and the present...

 BEFORE AND AFTER

Voices I heard, like

in distance muffled,

ethereal:

[Even today I can recollect

smells and tastes

of that ether

suffocating under mask

held so tightly by doctor...

his task:

to kill me.

“Operation success.

Patient died.”

And there I,

age five.

Helpless!

devoid

of tonsils,

adenoid,

for breakfast--

ice cream!]

While 'under' I dreamed

so true, it seemed:

“From across great hall

seated on bench, I saw

child running so fast

to catch Santa's last

Eve' in the mall!

Man (from North Pole?),

whiskey bottle in hand

wore dingy blues

thinly threaded,

and oil soaked shoes,

holes in soles, and

dirty-blue headband

'Running' boy climbed on lap,

he looked really sad.

Through tears, said softly

'It's Okay...Dad'.”

Observing all this

finally I know...

how frequently I missed

the 'whole show'.

Drunken isolation.

Fear of rejection then.

And now?

I thrive on greeting,

meeting for a spell;

connecting with

not only friends,

but strangers as well.

I used to gaze down at the floor.

Always.

While hastily seeking any door.

Escape!

I found that 'way out'

--wanted to shout

about the discovery

about my recovery

Now looking forward,

never wanting to miss

split-second glance

of a Peep's eyes,

your eyes...your smiles,

hugs of meaningful support,

possible sweet kiss!

Steveroni

2011 December 26

*inspired by Claudia's “Christmas tree” poem on diverse

Written For DVERSE Poets Pub
Open Link Night
Write a po-em, publish, then after 3 PM (Eastern) Tuesday
link it HERE

Merry CHRISTMAS EVERBODY!

MERRY CHRISTMAS....Feliz Navida.....Joyeux Noël.....Весела Коледа....Sretan Božić.....Veselé Vánoce.....Glædelig jul.....Frohe Weihnachten.....Καλά Χριστούγεννα.....jwaye nowèl.....Boldog Karácsonyt.....Gleðileg jól.....Selamat Hari Natal.....Nollaig Shona.....Buon Natale.....Linksmų Kalėdų.....Wesołych Świąt.....Feliz Natal.....Crăciun fericit.....С Рождеством.....Срећан Божић.....veselé Vianoce.....God Jul.....สุขสันต์วันคริสมาสต์.....Mutlu Noeller.....С Різдвом Христовим.....Nadolig Llawen.....Gëzuar Krishtlindjet.....Շնորհավոր Սուրբ Ծնունդ:.....میری کرسمس.....შობა......hopefully that's everyone!!!!

"Them" and "me"-ONE AND SAME!

CHRISTMAS DINNER FOR TWO

THEM AND ME

 
Ya know, sometimes during these holidays I get really lost in being happy and expressing good wishes to those who are also busily being happy.

I tend to forget those who are still out there--some even in HERE!-- who are unhappy, who cannot shake their past, or whose present lives are in chaos, or who are just so depressed that there seems no way out! And for them  I

also pray. I know them well.

After all--'them' WERE

.....................ME!

Love Them!

This is a re-post from Dec 26, 2008 in steveroni.blogspot

THEY CAN DO IT! CANNOT WE?

WAS THAT SANTA UP ON THE ROOF?

PEACE ON EARTH! GOOD WILL TOWARDS ALL...

Why oh why?

Can we not settle 

our differences?

LET LOVE LIVE!

MERRY CHRISTMAS 

TO ALL US PEEPS!

(CatBurt and Lucky

make friends

while I's

Sitting at my desk

talking on 'smart-ass' phone...

I didn't even have to move!)

LOOKING BACK: A LOVE SO PURE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEETHOVEN 

BORN DEC 16, 1770

 

MANY YEARS AGO

Vera Graf...her name...

a message for

my Argentina flame:

it was September

in Buenos Aire'--

remember?

dark beauty in

Washington park

“eureka” in my heart

quickly chose "our" bench.

we sat and set,

became instant

one with other

artist, model, she.

drooling idiot, me.

breathlessly we planned

all while holding hands

dreamt in tomorrow

our fragrance:

bloomed galleries,

painted visions

sharing bravas,

bravos galore

much more!

stage performer

graced her art with flair

music from a wooden flute,

(mine)--filled the air

walking in a park

one wonderful night

she and I shared

huge red apple

smiles, happiness, delight.

later...in unison

hand-in-hand

we found special moment

glorious, profound, spiritual.

floating above

minds, hearts, souls,

our very beings:

we were in love!

Moon, stars

crescent palm

holding (YESS!)

ahh! quiet of night!

peace and calm

cool breezes light

all in togetherness

we two so blest

leaves 'leafing'

shadows abounding

summer, late,

surrounding--

birds calling.

in that same park

we knelt,

we prayed...

shhhhhh...

whispered she

to 'listening' me

"you are Jewish...yes?"

(Muse of pathos:

Tristan Und Isolde

Act III “Liebestod”)

shocked, broken

eyes leaking

tear drops did

their own speaking,

two hearts broken

deep breath, 

"i am not."

pause.....

night after night

i walk same path

kicking stones

each time alone

passing that place

bathing my face

with flooding tears

stars, moon,

soft cool breezes

late summer nights

hints of Cincinnati

winter freezes

puzzle-like shadows

leaf-strewn patterns

in same park,

“our” bench

all were there;

elderly, homeless

in their stillness

only absence--

the hand-in-hand

two of us..........

Vera, even this day

sometimes--YOU!

one Fondest Memory...

--steveroni

(But that was long ago...)

Washington Park, Cincinnati, Ohio.  

Music Hall in background

A CHRISTMAS STORY

OUR CHRISTMAS TREE 2011

THE GIFT

“Yup! I've got your number...”

Could translate:

"Now I know you,

jackass!"

(but did not--grin!)

In slumber I heard

hello, is this correct

connect?

I and my mobile

all this while

waiting

day after longer day

to hear you sweetly say

--across the chasm deep

in my dream-sleep--

“It's YOU I'm thinking of

sending sleigh-load...love.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!”

--steveroni

Four days ago a sweetest family member 

(who recently moved to snow-covered Colorado mountains) 

joined together with me--separated only by thousands of miles.

--Reconciliation: nothing less than 'Gift from God'!

Thank You.

PEACE!

Posted for 
 Open Link Night Number 22 at

dversepoets

which will begin TODAY

at 3PM Eastern

IS DESTINY?

 Please Check out dVerse Poets Pub

Atlantic Ocean Beach St Augustine, FL

"DO NOT WALK ON THE GRASS"--grin!

--Photo by Steve E

MAKE IT HAPPEN, MAN!

Fear is near

havoc amok

destiny hovers

stone-hearts

useless warts

destiny loses

seen as majestic

mountains of travesty

destiny alive?

Life foiling like

roiling clouds

destiny sucks

mountains sink into the sea

on top of one is Thee

Oh destiny, benevolent.

music of muses

playing four strings

are we just puppets

sweet, simple things?

with destiny

Whatever else offered in life,

God...can You not remove

our destinies—or improve

how they shape?

"My son...

destiny does not shape your fate

destiny IS that fate!

Only one can destine

change.

One only to rearrange

fate.

That one...

Shhhh! you!"

--steveroni 
Tuesday December 6, 2011


Posted for 
 Open Link Night Number 21 at

dVerse Poets 

which will begin TODAY

Tuesday at 3PM Eastern

MAGPIE: Unity in Life and Death...

Been a long time since I've posted a Magpie Tale. Tonight I just felt crazy enough to try again. Please do YOU a favor and click on Willow's MAGPIE TALES # 94

ALL TOGETHER NOW, GIRLS AND BOYS!

Give us this day...

our daily bread,

O Lord above.

The man just said

our mission, maybe

...suicide

We are ready!

"Take this bread

and coffee cup.”

What he say?

"Eat ye--drink up!

Be unified.”

All is quiet

in this room.

(Did Willow write

about a broom,

our crumbs?

--she lied!)

We're just a bunch of bums

wearing vests of bombs

marching to our doom

into the city of light

bring dark before night

Our mission...

suicide

SECOND FAVORITE WORD

PEACE!

The following is hurriedly posted to a wonderful guy, 

Monkey Man, who has hosted for many moons,

a "Sunday 160-character" favorite.

Please visit him today, 

it is his final day of being

of service in this manner

MANY, MANY THANKS

MONKEY MAN

 OMG! I have not been here
in such long time
And now that it's era's end
I must leave a rhyme

Other than "love", my
second-favorite word of
words ever:
PEACE!

("160 characters")
that's me--steveroni

HOT AND COLD

LAVA LOVE?

Hearts pour lava down

breasts of mountains:

fiery liquidy fluff over

valley, crater, ravine,

through forest and 

that stuff between,

among, in,

out, to begin

again to cool

upon broiling earth 

of skin....

--steveroni

Dec 3, 2011

Image (TOP) best_served_cold_
by_zummerfish-d463ki9
in Deviant Art

PEACE

MY FANCY PHONE CASE

Several years I have been closing almost every blog post or other communication with the word "PEACE"!  Not simply a closing word, but a carefully thought, serious expression from deep within myself.


Whether illusion, delusion, or fact, it's how I have felt for some years now, after a life of early physical and mental abuse, followed by nearly 25 years of alcoholic drinking, and those pretty little pink pills. OH! What a voyage I've traveled. How fortunate I, to have experienced life as only a drunk can know, then allowed, helped, to quit that life, exchange it for years of sobriety.


And all the time seeking peace, so illusive for me, who returned to earth several times each day, wondering not only where my truck was parked--but did I even own a truck? Always though was that dream of being at peace, being one with the world. Some years, yes, I was in that space, no doubt--seeing it now--a product of denial rather than a life well-lived.


But survive I have, for no reason that I see--yet! Actually, that's not quite true. Lots of Peeps ask questions, and boy, do I have answers--grin!


Another reason for my survival is that I can now sit here, in fog-less (sleepless) stare, and wish for each of you....
PEACE!


P.S. Image is the back of my fancy phone case