"SITTING AND THINKING IN FOURTH DIMENSION

 

THE SUN ALSO RISES

Being alone has its charm. I can just do what alcoholics can do best—sit and think!--grin! Actually, “sitting-and-thinking” is NOT the best place for an alcoholic. My thinking, my BEST thinking brought me all the way down to the bottom of the pit of my disease—alcoholism.

And so, here I am at 5 AM on a Tuesday morning—sitting and thinking. I am remembering those I have met along my rocky road working, learning, and living an AA way of life. Especially those who did not 'make it'. They were/are many. As I ponder this, it yet amazes me how many personally known suicides were a direct result of the anguish, the torment, all hope abandoned. At least 14 I can recall and name, since I stopped drinking. Any one of them could have been me.

I would have missed meeting with and knowing countless wonderful Peeps, and living countless wonderful experiences. Some of those whose paths and mine crossed are remembered fondly, but with wonder as to how are they? Moved away. Probably still sober, joyful, and freely happy.

One fellow I recall met with me every Saturday to go fishing in the intricately woven inland waterways which are everywhere here. That was during my Boating-Fishing Era. Don't even remember the circumstances of his leaving Naples—but it was NOT at the Sheriff's request.

Thousands of annual visitors to Naples return again and again to our AA meetings, but when they ARE absent, I do occasionally “sit-and-think” about them with fond memory and a prayer of thanks for letting us share some time and experiences.

I met once a lady who seemed to have lived much of the same life I had lived—drunk...then sober. We did walk a bit and talk a bit. She, a singer, asked me to play my violin. We chose a spot in a park, where I played Ave Maria, and she sang. One of those rare never-to-be-repeated-nor-forgotten moments, folded—not faded-- into banks of memory.

My wife I met in Alcoholics Anonymous--she had been sober 5 years. That was 20 years ago.

Sharing in sobriety is not simply giving and receiving. It frequently becomes a mutually spiritual connection between Peeps, which I had never, NEVER enjoyed prior to the gift of this, my second life!

One hour from now I'll go to my early morning AA meetings, full of gratitude for the gift God gave me, Alcoholics Anonymous, without which I would have died many, many years ago, because I was one of those helpless, hopeless ones, who at age 40, was given a second chance. Maybe I'll meet some soul, a stranger (but not really!), struggling with his own life in the bottle, wanting so strongly to climb out. And maybe, just maybe, we will help one another.......I'll sit for one more minute, and “think about that”--grin!

In LOVE and GRATITUDE. PEACE!

Steve E

the_day_the_sun_rising_by_tomsumartin-d388e2d
in DEVIANT ART